Happy Tree Friends AC
by TheHTFACfic
Summary: My first fanfic. Wonder if there were ever any humans in the Happy Tree World? Join Edward the human (Rock-Raider's OC character), Cuddles, Giggles, Toothy, and all your other favorite characters in an world full of wonders. Also accepting OCs. PM me what you think about the cover.
1. Chapter 0: Prologue

** HAPPY TREE FRIENDS AC**

Chapter 0: Introduction

Nine years ago, billions of humans lived in the Happy Tree World. The human and Happy Tree Friend creature relationship have always been kind and caring, the Happy Tree Friends always loved to play and be friends with human children, especially ones without friends or someone to play with. But there is one who is disgusted with this.

An army of tigers had a plan to extinct the human species, the leader is a monocle wearing, robot claw for a hand tiger bastard named Tiger General. City by city, country by country, the General's troops killed a big number of humans, the Happy Tree Friends beg Tiger General not to kill anymore humans, but the General will also kill anybody (including the Tree Friends or even his own soldiers) who gets in his way of completing his job.

Soon after a year later, the last of the humans in one deserted building tells the last human parents to give their last human baby boy to a Primate Monk, Buddhist Monkey, which is also in the same building, telling him to take good care of this baby and train him to advange the human race. It was hard for them to give up their baby, but what choice do they have, either give their baby to a temple mentor where it's much safer and away from his parents, or don't and let the baby suffer like the rest. They want him to be safe and unfound by the Tiger Soldiers. So they give their baby to Buddhist Monkey as he promises as a Primate Monk to take good care of the baby.

After Buddhist Monkey left the building with the baby, Tiger Soldiers had gone in the building shooting the last of the humans, leaving no one alive, officially completing Tiger General's mission (or so he thought). After that, both Buddhist Monkey and Sensei Orangutan raises the baby to be a Primate Monk, to save others in danger and to not kill anyone in anger. The baby's name is Edward (no relations), he has been training Primate Monk martial arts since the age of 3.

At Edward's 5th Birthday, he got a golden shovel to dig plants and honor the dead by burying them, and at Christmas the same year, he got a golden tomahawk with a long, unbreakable rope at the end (kinda like a harpoon). And at age 7, Edward leaves the Primate Temple in a quest of finding the murderer of his species or find the last of his people.

**Just so you know, Edward is actually Rock-Raider's Animal Crossing character to save Happy Tree Friends, I'm just writing about him to spread the word. If I made a HTF character, I'd name him/her a different name. Tune in next chapter to see where Ed is now!**


	2. Chapter 1: FHTE (Alternative Story)

**Chapter 1: From Hero to Eternity (alternative story)**

**Starring: Edward (An 8 year old human boy wearing a yellow shirt with a paw on it,**

**blue jeans, blue shoes, and a Viking's helmet.),**

**Cuddles (An 8 year old yellow male rabbit with pink cheeks and**

**bunny slippers.)**

**and Giggles (An 8 year old pink female chipmunk with a red bow on her head.).**

**Featuring: Russell, (A 16 year old sky blue male sea otter wearing pirate clothes, an**

**eye patch, a pirate hat, a hook, and two leg pegs.)**

**and Lammy (An 8 year old light purple female sheep with a purple bow on**

**her head, wearing a wool sweater, and holding a pickle.)**

_It was a snowy day in Happy TreeVille. The snow was on the ground, the Happy Tree Friends children are enjoying the snow, while the adults have to do the work like clear the walkways and driveways with their snow shovels. Our favorite love couple Cuddles and Giggles were having a snowball fight and having fun, when suddenly;_

Giggles: Okay Cuddles, next ones coming at your face.

[Giggles makes a snowball, doesn't know that there's a sharp rock in it, throws it at Cuddles.]

Cuddles: Ha, he he he he he! (smack) Ah!

[Cuddles knocked out, has a rock in his left eye, lots of blood comes out of his eye. Giggles was worried and walks towards Cuddles.]

Giggles: Cuddles? Are you oka... (Gasp)!

[Giggles finds Cuddles on the ground, still bleeding from his eye.]

Giggles: (Gasp)! HELP! HELP! HELP!

[Ed makes a snowman, then heres Giggles crying for help.]

Ed: Huh? Someones in danger.

[Ed run towards Giggles.]

Ed: Oh hey Giggles, something the matter?

Giggles: (Crying) Yes, it's Cuddles, (Sniffs) he's hurt.

[Ed looks at Cuddles.]

Ed: Ooooooh, well nothing to worry about, I can check if he's alive.

Giggles: (Worried face) Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay!

[Ed listens to Cuddles' heartbeat.] (But of course you know he's still alive)

Ed: He's still alive Giggles.

Giggles: (Relieved) Oh thank god! What are you gonna do next?

Ed: First I gotta take the rock out of his eye, and then I'll try to revive him.

Giggles: Wait, why won't you revive him right away?

Ed: Because he'll feel pain in his eye if I keep the rock in his eye, I don't want anyone around here to feel pain. And beside, Cuddles is my best friend.

Giggles: Oh, okay. I don't want him to feel pain either.

Ed: Damn it Giggles, the longer we talk about this, the more blood that's gonna come out of Cuddles eye.

Giggles: Oh, sorry Ed.

[Ed removes rock from Cuddles' eye, gives Cuddles an eye patch, Russell walks by.]

Russell: Ahoy Ed! Yargh, Cuddles just looks good with ye eye patch. Too bad me ship is in a frozen iceberg otherwise he can aboard the crew.

Ed: Um, that's because it's winter, Rusty, and you don't have a crew.

Russell: Yargh? Is that right laddie? Oh well, I gotta go see me maties at the bowling ally.

[Russell leaves, Ed gets back to work on Cuddles. Ed rub his feet on the ground to make his lighting hands in a reviving way.]

Ed: Clear!

[Ed shocks Cuddles, Cuddles revived and confused.]

Cuddles: What happened? What's wrong with my eye?

Ed: You were knocked out with a rock Cuddles, I saved you.

Cuddles: Wow, thanks Ed! You're the best!

Giggles: Yeah, thank you.

[Giggles hugs Ed, doesn't hug back, looks at Cuddles.]

Ed: Look Cuddles, not touching, see? Not touching.

[Cuddles looks, but is not angry.]

Cuddles: It's okay Ed, she does this to everybody.

_And so Ed, Cuddles, Giggles, and Lammy (for some reason, probably is secretly in love with Ed.) were having a team snowball fight, (Cuddles and Giggles Vs Ed and Lammy) and they were having a great time._

**THE END**

**Moral of the story: Keep your eye on the ball!**

**Next chapter, Petunia (A 9 year old dark blue female skunk wearing a car freshener around her neck and has a flower on her head.) trys to run for mayor and then illegalizes everything dirty, smelly, and germ infested. (Not really)**


	3. Chapter 2: Ant Gonna Die Yet

** Chapter 2: Ant gonna die yet!**

**Starring: Edward and Sniffles (A 9 year old sky blue male anteater with taped **

**up glasses and a pocket protector.)**

**Featuring: Lumpy (A 36 year old sky blue male moose with an upside down **

**antler.)**

_It was a same old morning for our hero Edward..._

Splendid (A blue flying squirrel-like being from another planet with a red mask.): Hey, what the hell man! I saved lives before, therefore I'm a superhero.

_Oh yeah? Name one life you saved so far._

Splendid: Um, okay, well... Um... Oh, there's this one guy... No, he got killed by a monster... Um... Oh, how bout when I saved Giggles from the da... No, she got beheaded and I had to replace her head with a acorn... Um...

_(Sigh), okay now where was I? Oh yeah!_

_It was a same old morning for our hero Edward, gets up at 7 AM, brushes teeth, changes into his clothes, eats a bowl of cereal, going out of his house (A tree house that looks just like where most Tree Friends live.) to work on his apple trees, and, right out of nowhere, some Generic Tree Ninjas appears out of nowhere to assassinate Ed again. A same old morning routine for Ed._

[Ed already knock out 7 GTN (Generic Trer Ninjas for short.), 3 to go. Lumpy come in, watches Ed fight the Ninjas.]

Ed: You guys never give up, do you? You'll never learn that you're no match for me!

[GTN #1 takes out sword, trys to slice Ed, Ed counterattacks with a roundhouse kick. GTN #1 down. Lumpy's in a lawn chair eating popcorn while watching the fight.]

GTN #2: Listen kid! I don't care if you're not a Monk anymore, I'm not gonna get beaten by some child!

Ed: Oh yeah? Prove that you're better than me!

[GTN #2 charges at Ed, Ed performs a cartwheel uppercut (Liu Kang's first Fatality from Mortal Kombat 1.) on GTN #2, GTN #2 knocked out. Lumpy's recording all of this on camera. (Seriously, where did he get a lawn chair, a bag of popcorn, and a camera? It all wasn't there in the beginning.)]

Ed: So, I guess you're next.

GTN #3: (Scared) Not me! I'm getting the hell out of here.

[GTN #3 flees, Ed looks at Lumpy.]

Lumpy: Morning Ed.

Ed: Morning. Hey Lumpy, is this what you do every morning?

Lumpy: (Stupidly) Uh... Um... Hey Ed! Look over there!

[Ed looks, nothings there, looks back, Lumpy runs away stupidly.]

Ed: Ah, oh well. It's just a question, I won't get mad at him, I know he's a dumbass. Speaking of, I wonder what Sniffles' up to.

(Later at Sniffles' house)

[Sniffles was at the anthill again trying to eat the ants.]

Sniffles: Mmm, these ants are high in iron, and taste great.

[Ed comes by, sees Sniffles trying to put his tounge in the ant hole.]

Ed: (Gasp)! Sniffles! No!

[Ed grabs Sniffles' tounge.]

Sniffles: Edward! What are you doing?

Ed: Saving your life from these ants.

[Ed lets go of Sniffles' tounge.]

Ed: First thing you put your tounge in the ant hole, the next you get you tounge cut off.

Sniffles: I don't see any ants trying to harm me... Wait, what?

[A dynamite tied to a ballon comes up out of the anthill, trying to kill Sniffles again. Ed and Sniffles runs away from it. The dynamite explodes with no one injured or killed.]

Sniffles: This is illogical, how did they put a helium filled ballon and a full stick of dynamite in a very compacted hole?

Ed: (Looks at his cell phone.) ...Huh?

Sniffles: You're right Edward, they're trying to murder me again. And I need your assistance.

Ed: Always happy to help a friend out Sniffles, no one trys to kill my friends and gets away with it!

Sniffles: Really?

Ed: You bet. All I need now is a plan, and since you're the smartest guy I know...

Sniffles: We should kill those bastards!

Ed: Now, now Sniffles, let's not try anything that we'll regret.

Sniffles: Regret? Ha! The only thing I regreted is letting those pesky insects live in there nice colony. If I let them live, they're gonna kill me again. Trust me Edward, these ants don't deserve mercy. I tried devouring them, and they always ending up killing...

Ed: All right, all right, I'll help you with your lunch. But just so you know, I never killed anybody in my life.

Sniffles: I know that! But they're not people Edward, they're my meal.

Ed: (Slowly) O-kay?

(Plan A: Drown the ants.)

[Ed comes to the anthill with a fire hose.]

Ed: So, you bastards like to kill Sniffles, eh?

[Ed turns on the hose and puts it in the ant hole.]

Ed: Well, let's see if you'll mess with me!

[The ants gets out of the anthill without Ed noticing, mother ant ties the hose near Ed, brother ant removes hose from the fire hydrant and puts it in the gasoline tanker. Pokes a tiny hole on the hose near the tanker with a needle.]

Ed: Ha ha ha ha, hope you guys know how to swim, you good for nothing ants...

[Ed sees the mother ant.]

Ed: What are you doing out of your home? Get bac...

[Ed sees an ant lighting a match, puts fire in the leak, sees a tie in the hose next to him, tanker blown up from fire.]

Ed: Oh crap.

[The tie made the hose blow up from fire, Ed is being on fire.]

Ed: (Burning.) AAAAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAHH! AAAAAHH! I'LL GET YOU FREAKING ANTS!

[Ed knocked on Sniffles door, Sniffles answers.]

Sniffles: Solutations, fellow visi... Oh my god! Edward!

[Ed has a smoking body and covered in burned marks.]

Ed: You were right Sniffles, now those ants wants to kill us both! Can you heel my skin?

Sniffles: Yes I can, I got a machine that can heel any wounds or injurys. Follow me.

[Ed follows Sniffles to the machine.]

Sniffles: I call it, the DocBath 2000. This revolutionary device's special liquid will heel any damaged part of anyones body.

Ed: Okay, now put me in there.

Sniffles: Wow, uh okay, heeling a full burned skin takes 24 to 36 hours and...

Ed: Please Sniffles, I'm in pain so badly. I need this!

Sniffles: Alright, alright! Sheesh!

_And so, Ed stays in the machine for 32 hours and he finally make it to full recovery._

Splendid: Um... Oh what about the time I rescued Lumpy from bear tra... No, no. He doesn't remember that, I turned back time by reversing the Earth's spin... Um...

_(Sigh) Anyway, let's get back to the fanfic._

[Ed wents out of the machine, looks good as new.]

Ed: Ah ha ha! I feel better than ever before, thanks to you and your invention Sniffles! People need to buy this!

Sniffles: Aw, thanks Edward. But this device hasn't gotten the patent yet.

Ed: Okay, I don't know what "patent" means, but I still think people should have it. So what's the next plan?

(Plan B: Magnifying the ants)

[Ed has a magnifying glass, puts it over the ants.]

Ed: Since you little bastards lit me on fire, this means war!

[Ed shines sunlight on the magnifying glass, trys to burn the ants, until the clouds came in.]

Ed: Oh, this is just perfect. No more sun. How am I gonna burn these freaking...

[Ed sees brother ant shot the magnifying glass with a bb gun, aiming at Ed's right eye.]

Ed: Oh, so you think your little gun is going to hur...

[Brother ant shot Ed's eye giving him a black eye, Ed holds his eye.]

Ed: (In pain) OWW, OWW!

[Ed lets go of his eye and looks at the ants with both his eyes, ants laughs at him.]

Ed: (Silently) This is the final straw, you pest are gonna die!

[Ed knocks on Sniffles' front door, Sniffles answered.]

Sniffles: Solutations, Edward! Um... Where's my lunch? And what happened to your eye?

Ed: Those ants got a bb gun, shot me in the eye. I really hate those ants so much, if only I can be their size and fight them.

Sniffles: (Lightbulb) That's it Edward! I know a perfect machine! Follow me.

[Ed follows Sniffles to the machine.]

Sniffles: Behold, the Measurer 3000! It will turn you into any height you want!

Ed: I wanna be a size of an ant.

Sniffles: Don't you wanna be twice the size of an ant?

Ed: I believe in fair fights, Sniffles. I wanna be a size of an ant so I can fight them.

Sniffles: Um, okay.

[Ed gets in the machine, Sniffles turns on the machine, Ed becomes a size of an ant.]

Sniffles: Try not to get step on, okay Edward?

Ed: Oh yeah, that would be a mess. Don't worry Sniffles, I'll be back with your lunch!

[Ed goes to the anthill, knocks on the door, brother ant answers.]

Ed: Remember me?

[Ed takes out his golden axe, chops brother ant's head off, blood comes out of his neck, Ed looks for the sister ant.]

Ed: First you messed with Sniffles, now you wanna mess with me? You die!

[Ed chops sister ant's body in half, organs comes out of her half body, Ed looks for mother ant. Mother ant runs to her room and locking the door.]

Ed: Come out, you ant! I wanna axe you a question! No? Doesn't matter, I'll chop down this door.

[Ed chops down the door, mother ant screems.]

Ed: Heeeeerrrrres Edward!

[Mother ant runs away, Ed throws his axe at mother ant, axe hit mother ant in the shoulder.]

Ed: Get over here!

[Ed pull the rope from the axe to make mother ant come to Ed, then chops up mother ant into pieces.]

Ed: There you freaking ants! You see what happens when you mess with me? You ants don't deserve to live after what you did to Sniffles. Send me a postcard from hell!

[Ed puts the dead ants in a trash bag, goes to Sniffles house from the crack of the door with the bag.]

Ed: Sniffles!

[Sniffles looks but doesn't see nothing, then looks down.]

Ed: Hey, Sniffles!

[Sniffles looks at Ed.]

Ed: Check it out! I got your food!

Sniffles: Oh boy! Thank you Edward I got something I made for you! Go back to the Measurer 3000 so I can return you to normal size!

[Ed gets in the machine, grows back to normal while the bag gets bigger.]

Sniffles: Wow! The ants are huge! This is gonna be the best feast, ever! Thanks to you Edward!

Ed: Aww, I just like helping a friend out. Now what's the surprise gift?

[Sniffles gives Ed a sword he made.]

Ed: Cool! A sword!

Sniffles: Not just any ordinary sword, Edward. It's the Electro-Sword, I design it myself so it can make a sword that electrocute anybody while they get slayed by the blade.

Ed: Aw, you shouldn't have. Thanks Sniffles!

Sniffles: No, thank you for this meal! You deserve it!

_And so, Sniffles enjoy his large ants for lunch for the first time and Ed enjoys his new sword. Therefore, making everyone happy!_

Splendid: Hey man! I'm not happy!

_Huh?_

Splendid: That human saved Sniffles from the ants and yet I didn't saved one life yet. I'll show that idiot who's the best hero, and it's still me!

_Yeah, good luck with that! And you said yet twice!_

**Moral of the story: Look up to your heroes.**

**Next chapter, Splendid finally leaves me alone and retires from being a superhero.**

Splendid: Shut up, narrator!


	4. Chapter 3: Truth or Date

**A Valentines Day Special**

**Chapter 3: Truth or Date.**

**Starring: Edward, Cuddles, Giggles, and Lammy**

**Featuring: Petunia and Toothy (A 7 1/2 year old purple male beaver with buck teeth and freckles.)**

_It's almost Valentines Day in Happy TreeVille, the girls Giggles, Petunia, Flaky (A 7 year old red female porcupine with dandruff on her spikes.), and Lammy were talking about going on a date with their favorite guys. Giggles has a boyfriend which is Cuddles, Petunia has a pedophile boyfriend named Handy (A 25 year old handless light brown beaver that wears a hardhat and a utility belt.), and Lammy wants to go out on a date with, Ed?_

[The girls are having a tea party.]

Giggles: Are you sure Lammy? Ed doesn't seem to be a kinda guy who likes... Dating.

[Lammy puts down her tea cup.]

Lammy: Come on Giggles, did I complain when you are with Cuddles?

Giggles: Uh... No?

Lammy: Mr. Pickles didn't complain either.

[Petunia looks at Mr. Pickles, holds her nose.]

Petunia: That's because that's just an old rotten pickle! Get rid of it!

Lammy: How dare you talk to Mr. Pickles like that! Say you're sorry to him!

[Petunia lets go of her nose, puts down her cup roughly.]

Flaky: (Scared) Oh my, p-p-please don't...

Petunia: Okay, I'm sorry that you have a rotten, germ infested pickle as your only friend!

[Petunia pushes Lammy, Flaky screams.]

Lammy: Ba-a-a-ah! That's it!

[Lammy begans to hit Petunia, Flaky hides in fear, Giggles stops the fight.]

Giggles: Stop it you two, you're both scaring Flaky! We're suppost to be BFF's!

[Petunia and Lammy face each other, then smiles.]

Petuina: Sorry, I just have OCD.

Lammy: Mr. Pickles forgives you.

[Petunia puts on her gloves to shake hands with Lammy, Flaky peeks out her head out the closet door.]

Flaky: (Scared) Is... Is it over?

Giggles: Now Lammy, why don't we suggest a double date? Me and Cuddles, and you and Ed.

Lammy: Yes! Yes! That would be perfect, I'm finally gonna get to date Edward.

[Flaky comes out of the closet slowly.]

Flaky: H-how about a triple date?

Giggles: I don't think Flippy (A 30 year old veteran green male bear with a green beret.) would be right for you Flaky, he's way too old for you and he has PTSD.

[Flaky becomes sad.]

(Meanwhile at Ed's house.)

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy were playing Grand Theft Flippy on the Playstation 4.]

Cuddles: So, Giggles is going on a date with me this Valentine's day.

Toothy: Boooooo!

Ed: Lame!

Cuddles: Come on guys, what are you two gonna do while I'm on my date?

[Ed pauses the game.]

Ed: Well, me and Toothy are gonna play video games!

Toothy: Yeah! Then me and Ed are going to get ice cream, and then eat at the Happy Tree Café!

Ed: Yeah! We're gonna have so much fun on the worst holiday ever! Unlike Cuddles. No offense buddy.

Toothy: Yeah, nothing against you Cuddles.

[Ed and Toothy hugs Cuddles.]

Cuddles: Thanks, you two!

(Later at Cro-Marmot's (A frozen cave HTF with a club.) ice cream truck.)

Ed: And I'll take chocolate.

[Ed get's the ice cream cone.]

Ed: Thanks!

[Ed (gots chocolate), Cuddles (gots strawberry), and Toothy (gots vanilla) eats ice cream while walking back home.]

Toothy: Look guys! We are like neapolitan ice cream buddies!

Ed: Ha, good one Toothy!

[Giggles and Lammy appears and talks to Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy.]

Giggles: Hi, Cuddle-bunny!

[Ed and Toothy rolled their eyes.]

Cuddles: Hey Giggles! Are you ready for our date tomorrow?

Giggles: Actually, it's gonna be a double date.

Ed: And you're here to talk about Toothy going out on a date with someone? Oh I'm sorry buddy, I guess I'll be having fun alone in Valentines Day.

Toothy: Ed!

Giggles: Ed, I was talking about you.

Ed: A lone world with only me and me alo... Wait, WHAT?!

[Ed drops his ice cream.]

Giggles: Yep, you're going on a date with her! (Points at Lammy.) Isn't it great?

Lammy: Do you accept, Edward?

[Ed was about to say no.]

Giggles: If you don't, then we have to cancel the date.

[Cuddles was shocked, grabs Ed.]

Cuddles: Will you excuse us for a moment?

[Cuddles drags Ed to the alley.]

Ed: No way Cuddles!

[Cuddles let's go of Ed.]

Cuddles: Come on Ed.

Ed: NO! I'm not gonna date that sheep! She's freaking weird, and her hands smell like pickles.

Cuddles: Just do this for me! I don't wanna lose Giggles, I'll do anything for you anything if you say yes.

[Ed looks annoyed.]

Ed: Okay fine, on one condition.

Cuddles: Okay, and what is it?

Ed: Say no to one date with Giggles so WE can hang out.

Cuddles: What? Are you mad?

Ed: Okay, then the dates off!

[Cuddles looks at Giggles in a lovestuck face.]

Cuddles: Okay, fine!

[Ed and Cuddles gets back to where Giggles and Lammy's at.]

Ed: (Looks down.) I... Accept.

Lammy: Ba-a-a-ah! You won't regret it my love.

[Lammy hugs Ed, doesn't hug back, Giggles and Lammy leaves, Cuddles and Toothy waves their hand bye while Ed waves his hand barely when he smiles in disappointment.]

Ed: I'm starting to regret this date right now.

Cuddles: C'mon Ed, it won't be that bad.

Ed: Cuddles, I like to fight, not to date! You know that.

Cuddles: Just give it a chance Ed.

(At the Happy Tree Café on Valentines day.)

[Ed and Cuddles comes in the restaurant, Ed has a sword on his back.]

Cuddles: I still don't know why you need your sword for this date.

Ed: Trust me, the lamb here is tough to cut up.

Cuddles: Don't screw this up Ed, or the damn deal is off.

[Giggles and Lammy sees Ed and Cuddles.]

Giggles: Hello honey bun, over here.

[The boys looks.]

Lammy: Hey hot stuff!

[Cuddles waves to Giggles, then the boys walks to the table.]

Ed: (Sigh in annoyance.) Let's just get this over with.

[Ed and Cuddles sits down where Giggles and Lammy are at.]

(15 minutes later.)

[Ed plays and eats his food, grabs pepper, Lammy touchs Ed's hand where the pepper is, keeps holding Ed's hand]

Lammy: Oops, I guess we both want pepper.

[Ed lets go of the pepper so he can stop holding Lammy's hand.]

Ed: Um, Cuddles? I gotta go pee! Can you get up so I can go to the bathroom?

Cuddles: Sure buddy!

[Cuddles gets up to let Ed go to the bathroom.]

(In the boys bathroom.)

[Ed washes his hands without soap.]

Ed: (To himself) Keep it together Ed, just until this date's over.

(At the table.)

[Lammy notices that Mr. Pickles is gone.]

Lammy: Um... Where's Mr. Pickles?

(Back at the bathroom.)

[Ed drys his hands with his shirt, sees a pickle on the counter.]

Ed: Huh?

[Ed picks up the pickle.]

Ed: Someone needs to start throwing away their food better. There's like, trash cans in this restaurant, even a damn dumpster out...

[Mr. Pickles appears stabbing Ed's hand.]

Ed: Ow!

[Ed drops Mr. Pickles, looks his hand, his hand is bleeding a little, then looks at Mr. Pickles, rubbing his eyes to see if it isn't an illusion.]

Ed: So, you're real after all?

[Ed takes off his Viking's helmet, revealing his brown hair, Kung Fu poses for a fight.]

Ed: You deserve a hand to hand combat with me.

[Mr. Pickles charges at Ed, Ed trip kicks him, Mr. Pickles flies against the wall with his eyes closed.]

Ed: Huh... This was way too easier than I though.

[Ed trys to pick up Mr. Pickles, Mr. Pickles opens his eyes, stabs Ed's hand again, little bit more blood comes out of his same hand.]

Ed: Ah! I thought I defeated you.

[Mr. Pickles charges at Ed again, Ed trip kicks Mr. Pickles again, Mr. Pickles counterattacks by jumping on Ed's leg, Ed falls down by slipping and then Mr. Pickles stabs Ed's leg.]

Ed: Hey! Stop that! Ow!

[Blood comes out from the stab wounds of Ed's leg, Mr. Pickles keeps stabbing.]

Ed: Owww! Ow!

(Back at the table.)

[Cuddles was worried about Ed.]

Giggles: Something wrong?

Cuddles: Uh... Just a minute, I gotta go check on Ed.

[Cuddles leaves to the bathroom.]

(Back at the bathroom.)

[Mr. Pickles was still stabbing Ed's leg.]

Ed: Now it's getting more painful. Ahh oww! Oww!

[Cuddles walks in the bathroom.]

Cuddles: Ed, what's going on in there? Do you have probl...

[Cuddles sees Mr. Pickles stabbing Ed's leg.]

Cuddles: (Gasp!) Hold on buddy! I'm coming to help you!

[Cuddles right jabs Mr. Pickles, Mr. Pickles flies right against the wall again turns back into a regular pickle.]

Cuddles: Are you okay?

Ed: Woah! How did you learn how to punch like that?

Cuddles: I have a master's degree in karate, I swore I told ya.

Ed: Oh, you didn't. Oh well, let's see if I can stand up.

[Ed gets up on his two legs.]

Ed: Yes! I can still walk. High five!

[Ed and Cuddles high five each other, then goes back at the table while Ed carries the pickle.]

Cuddles: Looks like Lammy was right about this pickle.

Ed: Yeah, it's evil! We should step on it.

Cuddles: No Ed!

Ed: You're right, let's wait 'til we get to the table, let Lammy watch, then I'll squash it with my foot so she can never talk to me again!

[Lammy sees the pickle.]

Lammy: Mr. Pickles! Thanks Edward, you're the best boyfriend a girl can ever have.

Ed: Wait... What?

[Lammy grabs the pickle from Ed, then Lammy kissed him in the cheek, Ed stands there with his eye twitching.]

Lammy: And you look better without that helmet.

Giggles: Um, Ed, are you okay?

[Cuddles shake Ed, then Ed tries to pulls out his sword.]

Cuddles: Ed! No! It's against your code of conduct!

Ed: I don't give a rat's ass anymore! I'll make an exception!

[Ed pulls out his sword, Cuddles grabs the sword, both of them pulls the sword by each line they say.]

Cuddles: You can't do that in public!

Ed: I had enough with this date!

Cuddles: Give me the sword!

Ed: No! All I wanna do is to hang out with Toothy, that's all.

[Cuddles let's go of Ed's sword.]

Giggles: What is wrong with you two?

Lammy: Yeah, our boyfriends shouldn't fight each other!

[Ed raises his sword up trying to strike Lammy, Cuddles holds the blade.]

Cuddles: She's right Ed, we're best friends, what are we doing?

[Cuddles let's go of the blade, Ed puts his sword away.]

Ed: I just wanted to hang out with you, and Toothy, as guys only night, this night.

Giggles: Oh, why didn't you say so?

Lammy: Yeah, everyone needs their own space.

Cuddles: But, I thought you would break up with me, Giggles.

Giggles: Nonsense, I can reschedule our date another time!

Cuddles: But this is Valentines Day.

Giggles: It doesn't matter if it's Valentines Day, I will always like you alot!

Cuddles: And I like you alot, too!

[Giggles kisses Cuddles in his lips.]

Ed: So! Everyone wins!

Cuddles: Yeah! Sorry that I made you go to this date.

Ed: That's okay Cuddles, people everywhere makes mistakes! Let's go home.

[Ed and Cuddles opens the door. Lammy waves bye to Ed, Ed looks.]

Ed: (Whispers to Cuddles) Let's go! Now!

[Ed runs out the door, Cuddles follows Ed.]

_Um... Wow... Okay, and so Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy goes to the park to play a day later after the date, what good come out of this date is Cuddles finds out he can hang out with his as long as they want because Giggles can reschedule their date, the bad is Lammy now stalks Ed because she still thinks Ed is her boyfriend._

Splendid: Ha! Me: one, Ed: zero!

_What the hell are you still doing here?_

Splendid: I heard that Ed finally has one failure! And I had to hear this fanfic.

_(Weird face look) See you next time, I got to go argue with Splendid!_

**Moral of the story: Don't be a sour pickle around your friends.**

**Coming up next chapter, Flippy goes to an Insane Asylum to treat his PTSD, then he goes insane and kills about 30 nurses.**


	5. Chapter 4: Super Raccoon Bros

**Chapter 4: Super Raccoon Bros**

**Starring: Edward, and Flaky**

**Featuring: Lifty (A 29 year old male raccoon.), Shifty (Identicle twin brother of Lifty, wears a hat.), and Drifty (A 31 year old raccoon, older brother of Lifty and Shifty, simular to Lifty except has a red bandana on his head, two bullet belts across his chest, a machete on his back, and a M9 pistol on his hip. Unlike his brothers, Lifty and Shifty who likes to steal, Drifty likes to kill innocent people. My OC!)**

**Special OC guest: Coral (A 16 year old bordeaux female merefox (A half mermaid, half fox hybrid) with white fur on her belly and muzzle, black fur on her hands, pointy ears, blonde hair, green fish tail, and wears an orange bra. OC character courtesy of MaxWhittemore.) **

Splendid: So, a lousy day for Happy TreeVille, because Ed the loser is doing terrible things to good people and is...

_Hey, Splendid! Who told you to narrate this fanfic?_

Splendid: You were gone and I had to read this fanfic to the readers.

_What you said isn't even part of this fanfic! Not one word!_

Splendid: I was talking about my story. See?

_[Rips up Splendid's paper which is his story.]_

Splendid: Hey! Why the hell did you do that for?

_Sorry about this folks, I was going to the bathroom, and somehow, Splendid is reading his sh*tty fanfic about our hero Edward. Anyway, on to the real story. _

_So Ed want's to help Flaky out of her fears, but he needs Cuddles' help, so they went to his house._

[Ed rings the doorbell.]

Flaky: Um... Ed? I... I don't think this is a g-g-good idea.

Ed: Don't worry, Flaky. I'll be here with you all the way, you're always safe with me around.

Flaky: Really? Thanks Ed.

[Cuddles' uncle, Tazy (A 27 year old green rabbit with dog tags on his neck.) answers the door.]

Tazy: Why hello there, Edward, Flaky. What can I do for you, kids?

Ed: Hi, Tazy. Can your nephew come out to play?

Tazy: Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. But Cuddles is out of town with his cousin.

Flaky: S-s-sorry we bothered you. Please don't hurt me.

Tazy: Relax Flaky, I'm not gonna hurt you, I don't even have PTSD like Flippy. Hey, you two wanna come on in, have some lemonade, maybe take a look at my medels when I was at W.A.R. (Weaponized Animal Regiment)? We veterans died to avenge the human race!

Ed: No, thank you.

Tazy: Are you sure, Edward? We fighted for the humans like you.

Ed: No really, it's okay.

[Ed and Flaky leaves.]

Tazy: Alright, bye you two.

(At the Last National Bank.)

[Lifty snd Shifty parks their van on the curb, get's out.]

Shifty: Are you ready to rob this bank, brother?

Lifty: You always know it.

[Both raccoons laughs, goes in the bank with an empty trash bag.]

Lifty: (Loudly) This is a stick up!

[The tree friends looked at the raccoons, then minds their own business.]

Shifty: The hell wrong with these guys? We said (Loudly) STICK 'EM UP! THIS IS A ROBBERY!

[Tree friends ignores the raccoons.]

Lifty: Shifty, let's just go to the cashier.

[The raccoons walks up to the cashier which is Sniffles.]

Sniffles: Welcome to the Last National Bank, what do you two aquire?

Shifty: What you can do is (Loudly) GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY!

Sniffles: Or what?

Lifty and Shifty: (Stupidly) Umm... Uhh...

Lifty: We don't know.

Shifty: Yeah, we haven't gotten this far yet.

Sniffles: What type of imbecile robs a bank unprepared? If you wish to commandeer a bank, why don't one of you two possess a firearm?

[The raccoons just stand there.]

(Outside the bank.)

[The raccoons just walk out the door, getting back in their van.]

Shifty: Robbing a bank is so hard, it used to be so easy.

Lifty: That's because of our older brother, Drifty. He was always packing heat and we always get away with theft with him around.

[The raccoons got in their van, Lifty drives.]

Shifty: Yeah, yeah! We should call him, see where he's at nowadays.

Lifty: Or we can invite him back to town, to help us.

Shifty: That's a great idea.

[Shifty calls Drifty with his stolen phone.]

(At another town.)

[Drifty tries to break in a house to kill somebody by smashing the window with a crowbar, hears his phone ringing, Drifty answers.]

Drifty: Yeah? Oh, what's up Shifty? Long time no see.

Shifty: I know right? Hey listen, can you come over back to Happy TreeVille to visit?

you know, for old times sake.

Drifty: I was about to kill whoever was in the house I'm braking in, but I'll come visit.

Shifty: Wonderful! Ah, he he he he he!

Drifty: Just like old, bloodbathic times! Ah, he he he he he!

[Drifty hangs up his phone and leaves, Cuddles and his cousin looks out the window.]

Cuddles: Who was that?

(Back at Happy TreeVille.)

[Ed and Flaky walks to the park.]

Flaky: Um... Ed? I h-h-hope their won't be any b-b-b-birds.

Ed: Don't worry, Flaky. I'm gonna be here watching you to protect you.

[A motorcycle comes in, it's Drifty.]

Flaky: (Scared) Ah! Please don't hurt me!

[Flaky goes on the ground.]

Ed: It's okay, Flaky. I'll handle this.

[Ed walks up to Drifty.]

Drifty: Hey kid, I'm looking for two guys named Lifty and Shifty, ever heard of them?

Ed: Those good for nothing punks? I hate those guys. Yeah, that way.

Drifty: Thanks kid. For that, I'll let you and that cowardly porcupine live.

[Drifty leaves, Flaky gets back up.]

Flaky: Who was that man, Ed? He s-s-said he'll let us... (Opens eyes widely, scared) Ah, he was gonna kill us!

[Flaky hugs Ed and cries.]

Ed: There there, Flaky. That was problely just his sense of humor. He doesn't mean it.

[Ed pats Flaky on the side.](You wouldn't pat Flaky on her spikey back, would you?)

Flaky: (Sniff) R-really?

Ed: Yeah, some people has a differant type of humor. You just gotta come up with one.

[Flaky stops hugging Ed.]

Flaky: Thanks, Ed!

(Meanwhile at Lifty and Shifty's hideout.)

[The raccoons are playing cards with poker chips on the table.]

Shifty: Got any sevens?

Lifty: No, go fish.

Shifty: Son of a bitch!

[Shifty hits table, draws a card from deck. Drifty in a motorcycle arrived.]

Shifty: Did you hear that?

[The raccoons puts their hand on their ears.]

Lifty and Shifty: Ah, he he he he he!

[Drifty knocks on their door, then kicks it down.]

Drifty: So, who whats to see a pile of dead bodies I just killed?

Shifty: Drifty!

Lifty: Welcome to the family reunion!

Drifty: It's good to be back at a place where people will no longer survive while I'm here. Except my brothers, of course!

All three: Ah, he he he he he!

(In Happy TreeVille.)

[Mime (A purple male deer mime with a white shirt with black stripes, age unknown.) walks down the sidewalk. The raccoons appear and Drifty points his finger at Mime pretending it's a gun.]

Drifty: (Loudly) THIS A STICK UP!

[Mime put his hands up with his mouth opened wide.]

Drifty: Now I'll let you live if you give my brothers here some money! (Loudly) NOW HAND OVER YOUR WALLET!

[Mime gives Lifty his invisible wallet.]

Lifty: He he he he he!

[Drifty finger bangs Mime's chest causing him to die and bleed in the chest, then Drifty finger bangs Mime's head which blown his brains out.]

Drifty: Ah, he he he he he!

[The three raccoons leaves so Lifty and Shifty steal more stuff while Drifty kills more victims.]

(At Cro-Maromt's ice cream stand.)

[Nutty (An 8 year old green male squirrel with a messed up google eye and covered in candy for clothes.) buys an ice cream cone.]

Nutty: Oooohh! (Laughter). This is gonna be tasty!

[The raccoons came in, Drifty points his M16 assault rifle with M203 grenade launcher at Nutty, Nutty puts his hands up.]

Dirfty: Give us your ice cream, kid! (Loudly) NOW!

[Nutty puts his hands down, hugs his ice cream.]

Nutty: No!

[Drifty shoots Nutty fully automatically, Nutty covered in bullet wounds, blood leaks out from the bullet holes and dies, Shifty grabs ice cream from Nutty.]

All three raccoons: He he he he he!

(At the bowling alley.)

[Handy just bowled a perfect game.]

Handy: I like to thank my teammate, Rusty. For helping me out.

Russell: Yargh, I give ye half me booty for bowling a perfect game.

[Drifty comes in, goes to Russell.]

Drifty: Hey, Handy. Remember me?

Handy: (Gasp!) Oh no! It's Drifty! He's back!

Russell: What ye want from me matie?

Handy: Yeah! You took my hands, what more do you want?

Drifty: Your friend's treasure!

Russell: Ye will never take me booty! I'd would rather be in Davy Jone's locker then to take me booty!

Drifty: Okay!

[Drifty pulls out his pistol, points it a Russel's head.]

Drifty: Die!

[Drifty pulls the trigger, blows Russell's brains out causing him to die.]

Handy: Ah! I'm leaving!

[Handy runs to the exit, trys to open the entrance door, Drifty opens it for him.]

Handy: Thanks!

Drifty: Anytime!

[Handy runs to the park for his life.]

(Channel 1 news on TV.)

Anchorman (Flippy): We interrupt this program with an important breaking news! A severe massacure is happening in our peaceful town! Three found dead in the last two hours! We go live with our reporter, Lumpy!

(The screen shows Lumpy at downtown.)

[Lumpy trys to read his report.]

Lumpy: Uh... Um... I don't know how to read!

[Drifty comes in behind Lumpy, shoots Lumpy in the back with a M870 shotgun on TV.]

Drifty: He he he he he!

[Drifty leaves.]

(Back at Channel 1 newsroom.)

[Flippy hears gunfire, turns into Flipqy.]

Flipqy: Mwa ha ha ha! Die!

[Flipqy gets out knife, attacks cameraman.]

Cameraman: Hey, no!

(Standby screen displays in the TV store window near the beach.)

[Ed and Flaky just watched TV.]

Flaky: (Scared) Ah! He's that same man we saw earlier!

[Flaky hug Ed and cries. (again)]

Flaky: (Crying) I'm too young to die!

[Ed pats Flaky's side.]

Ed: Don't worry, Flaky. When I'm here with you, I'll always protect you.

Flaky: R-r-really?

Ed: Yeah! Hey, (High pitched) you wanna go to Happy Tree Café?

[Flaky stops hugging Ed, wipes her tears with her hand, shakes her head yes.]

Ed: (High pitch) Alright, let's go to the Happy Tree Café!

[On their way to the restaurant, Handy runs by, stops and pants.]

Ed: Hey, it's Handy! Watchya doing, practicing for the olympics?

Handy: (Pants) No! (Pants) I'm running from... (Pants) I'm running from... (Pants)

Ed: It's okay, what are you trying to say?

Handy: (Pants) I'm running from... (Pants) Drifty!

Flaky: W-w-w-what?

Handy: (Loudly) I SAID I'M RUNNING FROM DRIFTY! (Pants) HWOO!

Ed: Who's that?

Handy: He's the oldest brother of Lifty and Shifty, and unlike his twin brothers, he enjoys homicide of any place he can think of! He's the one who cut off my hands, not to mention he now killed Russell!

Ed and Flaky: (Loudly) WHAT?! RUSTY'S DEAD?!

(At the bottom of the ocean.)

[Coral was reading a waterproof book while thinking about Russell, hears an echo.]

Ed and Flaky (Echo): _RUSTY'S DEAD?!_

Coral: What? My favorite pirate boy is dead? NOOOO!

[Coral puts her paws on her eyes and cries.]

Coral: (Crying) I... Didn't... Get... To... Tell... Him... I... Love... Him!

[Coral continues to cry.]

(Back at surface.)

Ed: That bastard! He may not be bad as Lifty and Shifty, but he's twice as worse! We must find Drifty and defeat him! You're with me, Handy?

Handy: I may not have hands to help you on your fight, but at least I can watch you fight him! So the answer is yes!

Ed: Alright! Let's go find Drifty!

[Ed and Handy runs to find Drifty, Flaky tries to stay.]

Flaky: (Cowardly) Uh... I... I think I s-s-should, go back home, go to sleep, and pretend this day neve...

Ed: C'mon, Flaky!

Flaky: But I don't wanna, he's too scary!

Handy: Trust me! At night, he likes to go door to door, slit peoples throats in their sleep!

Flaky: (Scared) Eeek! Maybe I'll be safer with you guys!

[Flaky quickly follows Ed and Handy in a instant.]

(Back at the Last National Bank.)

[The tree friends were all talking at once, Lifty and Shifty returns to rob the bank.]

Lifty: (Loudly) EVERYBODY DOWN!

Shifty: (Loudly) YEAH! THIS IS A RAID!

[The tree friends looked at the raccoons, ignores them.]

Sniffles: You guys again? Look I told you two, you commandeering this bank is a jo...

[Drifty comes in with a flamethrower, points at each tree friends.]

Drifty: (Threatening) You guys wanna get burned to death? Huh?

[Tree friends looks at Drifty, some get scared or begins to cry.]

Sniffles: (Gulp!)

Drifty: (Loudly) THEN GET DOWN ON THE GROUND! NOW!

[Drifty shoots his flamethrower up in the ceiling, everyone except the raccoons lays on the floor, Drifty walks up to the cashier slowly, still points the flamethrower at the random tree friends, arrives where Sniffles is at.]

Sniffles: (Scared) P-p-please! D-d-d-don't burn me!

[Drifty points the flamethrower at Sniffles.]

Drifty: I won't lit you on fire as long as you fill all the bag with all the banks money!

[Sniffles opens the register, puts $3,000 in Lifty and Shifty's money bag, Drifty lowers his flamethrower.]

Shifty: Heeeeeey! This isn't enough!

Lifty: Yeah! Where's the rest of the money?

Sniffles: (Scared) I'll be right b-b-b-back! I'll j-j-just go to the bank vault to get 997,000 more dollars!

[Sniffles tries to leave, Lifty interrupts him.]

Lifty: Wait a minute! You're really not gonna give us some more money!

Shifty: Yeah! You're gonna call the cops on us!

[Drifty points his flamethrower at Sniffles, getting ready to shoot.]

Sniffles: No no, please! I'm really gonna get some... Don't shoot!

[Ed's golden axe appears heading for Drifty, chops the tube connecter of Drifty's flamethrower, gasoline comes out of the tube, Drifty throws the tankpack it at Sniffles and misses, explodes with no one injured or killed, but the money vault burns.]

Lifty and Shifty: (Loudly) NOOOO!

[Drifty looks around.]

Drifty: Alright! Which one of you is trying to be a hero?

[Axe comes back to Ed's hand.]

Ed: That would be me! Edward the Human!

[Handy and Flaky appears, Flaky hides.]

Handy: Drifty, your killing spree has come to an end!

Drifty: Ah, he he he he he he he he he he he he he! (Inhales) Hwoo! Tell me that this pathetic kid (Ed) isn't really gonna kill me and leave?

Ed: (Silently) I don't kill crooks!

[Drifty looks at Ed like he's crazy.]

Ed: Now I'll give you a chance to leave this town and never come back no matter what, and I'll let you leave uninjured!

[Drifty still looks at Ed like he's crazy, then smiles.]

Drifty: Hm hm hm hm! I will leave as soon as possible.

Ed: That's more like it...

[Drifty pulls out his M9 pistol, Ed sees him holding the gun.]

Drifty: ...Just let me kill you first!

[Drifty points the gun at Ed, Ed runs quickly to be near Drifty.]

Drifty: Wha... What's this?

[Ed grabs Drifty's hand causing him to drop his gun.]

Drifty: Let go of my hand, you twerp!

[Ed slides the gun under the counter with his foot.]

Ed: Come on now, Drifty. If you wanna fight me, then why don't you be a man! Fight fairly!

[Ed releases Drifty's hand, Drifty makes sure his hand is not broken. Ed takes off his helmet.]

Drifty: Fine kid, your funeral!

[Drifty pulls out his machete. Ed sees the machete.]

Drifty: Just means I'm gonna kill you slower and more painful!

[Ed pulls out his sword, tests the taser part, works.]

Sniffles: Edward! You're still using the Electro-Sword I've invented and gave you? That's cool!

Ed: Sniffles! Get everyone out of the bank! I don't want anyone innocent hurt!

[Sniffles leaded the tree friends except Handy, Flaky, Lifty, and Shifty out of the bank, Flaky tries to follow Sniffles.]

Flaky: Wait for me, Sniffles!

Ed: Not you, Flaky! You two stay here in case for you to back me u...

[Drifty swings his machete at Ed, Ed's been cut on the chest, rubs his hand on his chest and looks at the blood.]

Ed: (Angrily) You bastard! I was gonna go easy on you, but now forget it! Take this!

[Ed vertically swings his sword at Drifty, Drifty blocks!]

(Insert epic sword fight scene here! Can't really explain the sword fight, don't know how.)

[Ed and Drifty hits each other's blade while Ed turns on the electric blade causing both blade electrocuted, Drifty pushes Ed to the fire, misses, Ed falls down, Drifty points his machete at Ed.]

Drifty: Any last moves?

Ed: Just this!

[Ed trip kicks Drifty and almost falls into the fire, Ed grabs Drifty's left hand.]

Drifty: Stop touching my hand!

Ed: I'd rather see you in jail then get burned to death.

Drifty: (Silently) I wouldn't do this exact same thing to you! (Loudly) NOW DIE!

[Drifty swings his machete at Ed's hand as Ed pulls him up, result of this ending up Drifty cutting his own hand off, falls in the fire.]

Ed: NO!

[Drifty touches fire and get lit on fire.]

Drifty: (Burning) NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Drifty dies from third degree burns all over his body, Handy and Flaky helps out Ed.]

Flaky: Ed! Are you okay?

[Flaky picks up Ed.]

Ed: Yeah, some stitching and band-aids will help me stop the bleeding. Other than that, I'm fine!

[Handy looks at the Drifty's severed hand.]

Handy: Ha ha! You took my hands, I'll take your hand! Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

[Handy tries to pick up the hand, but can't, Ed picks up the hand, puts the hand in some ice.]

Ed: Handy, sometimes bad guys can learn a lesson. Like, there's more to life than there is in a life a crime, that you should always cherish life of people around you, and maybe, karma exist for a reason, so you won't do bad things that ends up bad consequences.

[Handy and Flaky looks at Ed, two bullet belts on Drifty's chest blows up from fire, Ed, Handy, and especially Flaky ducks from the explosion.]

Handy: Whatever, can we go to the hospital so I can finally have a hand again?

Ed: Okay!

_Whoa! That was a longest fanfic yet! At the end some good came out of it. Lifty and Shifty was sentence to 8 years in prison for armed robbery, Coral throws Russell a funeral near the beach so she can say her goodbyes (But of course, he'll come back alive next time like in the original Mondo Media series of Happy Tree Friends.), and Handy gots a new hand, the bad news for Handy is it's his left hand he got back, and he's only right handed._

Splendid: Well, at least he has a hand! Like, five people were killed in this fanfic, therefore, it's all Ed's fault!

_Please note that any Happy Tree Friend character that dies of anyway comes back to life next time they appear so the writer doesn't have to run out of characters unless says otherwise._

[Splendid stands there with his eyes opened.]

Splendid: ...Crap!

**Moral of the Story: Two hands are better than one!**

**Next Chapter; Toothy helps Nutty with his candy problem, then ends up getting his teeth pulled out.**

**BONUS CHAPTER 4.5: The Scouter**

**Starring: Vegeta, and Nappa (From DragonBall Z.)**

Nappa: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about how many words this fanfic series has?

[Vegeta takes off his scouter.]

Vegeta: It's, 8633.

[Vegeta puts his scouter back on.]

Nappa: Wait so in the next chapter, it means...

Vegeta: Yes, Nappa. It's...

Nappa: It's..?

[Vegeta takes his scouter back off.]

Vegeta: It's over...

Nappa: It's over..?

Vegeta: It's over (Loudly and Slowly) 8000!

[Vegeta crushes scouter with his hand.]

Nappa: What Eight Thousa... What? Vegeta, it's already over 8000!

Vegeta: They did it in the Japanese version, Nappa. They did it in the Japanese version.

_Please note that this has nothing to do with Happy Tree Friends AC. I just love DragonBall Z, one of my favorite animes._


	6. Chapter 5: Sea It, Don't Believe It

**Chapter 5: Sea it, don't believe it!**

**Starring: Edward, Cuddles, Toothy, and Coral**

**Featuring: Lumpy, Nutty, and Sniffles**

**Special OC Guest: Jack Trade (A 9 year old midnight blue wolf, wears a large jester crown on a blacker fedora with a magical joker card, and a black vest that opens. OC Courtesy of JKR675.)**

_Kamp Kombat, a camp just for people who enjoys Mortal Kombat video games._

Splendid: It's a shame that all the campers are gonna be kids. Considering that Mortal Kombat is the goriest, most violent fighting game known to man.

_Hey! Shut up, I played Mortal Kombat when I was like 6 or 7._

Splendid: Does your parents know about the game?

_So what? The original HTF series was about blood, gore, violence, and death, and mostly everyone who watches it loves the show!_

Splendid: Yeah, but this series contains much less death than the original.

_Whatever man, this series still contains the same amount of blood and gore, only difference is this series has more violence. Anyway, back to the fanfic. The campers are on the bus humming the Happy Tree Friend theme song while Lumpy drives._

(In the bus.)

[Ed is sitting next to Cuddles.]

Ed: I can't wait to be in Kamp Kombat! Kung Lao is my favorite.

Cuddles: Yeah, Kung Lao is the best in the series. If you haven't heard of Scorpion!

Ed: Oh yeah! Ha ha ha! (Imitate spear throw.) Get ova here!

[Ed and Cuddles looks at the seat behind them where Nutty and Toothy are, Nutty licks his lollipop.]

Cuddles: What about you, Toothy?

Ed: Yeah, what's your favorite character?

[Toothy was silent.]

Ed: Toothy?

Toothy: (Yells like he's Raiden.)

Cuddles: Yeah, Raiden!

Toothy: Raiden's the greatest in my book! Nutty, what about you?

[Ed and Cuddles looks at Nutty, Nutty's still licking his lollipop.]

Ed: Nutty?

[Nutty's still licking his lollipop.]

Cuddles: Damn it, Nutty! What's your favorite character in Mortal Kombat?

[Nutty stops licking.]

Nutty: Ooooh, my favorite character? Um okay, I like Reptile.

[Nutty continues to lick his lollipop, Ed and Cuddles sits back down on their seat.]

Ed: (To Cuddles) Reptile, huh? He's cool.

Cuddles: He's the only ninja who can turn invisible, of course he's cool. But not cooler than Scorpion.

[Bus arrives to Kamp Kombat.]

Lumpy: I think this is the place.

Sniffles: Wow! For once, we didn't get lost when Lumpy's driving.

[Everyone gets out of the bus.]

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: Wooooooooooooooooooooow!

Ed: This is gonna be the best... Week...

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: (Loudly) EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Jack sneaks up on Ed, slaps him.]

Jack: Surprise! Aha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ed: (Loudly) WHAT THE HELL?!

Cuddles: (To Jack.) Why did you slap Ed for?

Jack: (Silently) Shut up, Cuddles.

Ed: (Defending Cuddles.) Hey! You can't talk to one of my best friends like that!

Jack: I'm just glad we're all in this together!

[Jack leaves while he sings High School Musical.]

Toothy: (Annoyed) How annoying!

Lumpy: (Loudly) Atteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen... TION! (Normal) Whatever that is.

[The campers lines up at the entrance facing where Lumpy is, Lumpy tries to read the forms on the clipboard.]

Lumpy: Umm... Uhh... Sniffles, can you read what's on this?

[Sniffles walks up to Lumpy, Lumpy gives Sniffles the clipboard, reads the forms.]

Sniffles: (Sigh) Ahem! Welcome fellow campers to Kamp Kombat, where all MK fans go to cosplay their favorite character for a whole week...

[Sniffles keeps saying blah while Ed and Toothy has a quiet conversation.]

Ed: Psst! (Whispers) Toothy!

Toothy: (Whisper) What?

Ed: (Whisper) I hope all three of us gets to be cabin buddies!

Toothy: (Whisper) Me too, Ed! We are gonna have so much fun together!

[Cuddles interrupts.]

Cuddles: (Whispers) I just hope that Jack isn't gonna be our cabin buddy.

Ed and Toothy: (Whispers) Agreed!

[Sniffles talks back to normal.]

Sniffles: ...And now, to list the teams into two; First is Team Goro, which will be Edward, Cuddles, and Toothy...

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: Yes!

[All three high fives each other.]

Sniffles: I'm not done yet, guys! Next is Team Kintaro, which will be Me, Nutty and- (Sees Jack's name in his team.) Oh no!

[Lumpy walks to Sniffles.]

Lumpy: What?

Sniffles: I don't recommend Jack to be in my team!

Lumpy: He's my boy!

Sniffles: He's not even your biological son!

Lumpy: (Stupidly) Um... He's... Uh... My boy!

Sniffles: Okay, fine! Jack, your in our team!

Jack: Yes!

[Jack high fives Nutty.]

Jack: You wanna give Sniffles a wedgie?

Nutty: I don't know what that is. But, okay. I just hope it's sweet!

Jack: Trust me, it is!

[Jack leaves, Nutty follows Jack.]

(At Team Goro)

Ed: Awww! They get to be Team Kintaro! This sucks!

Cuddles: Yeah! Compare to Goro and Kintaro, Kintaro's much bigger and cooler!

Toothy: Aw come on, guys! Goro can be cool!

Ed: I guess, Goro has this Fatality, where he can rip his foe limb from limb with all four of his arms.

Cuddles: And Kintaro has the same Fatality as Goro's, but he rips his foe in quarters instead!

[Cuddles and Toothy leaves, Ed stays and opens his eyes widely.]

Ed: ...Why couldn't they done that in the first place?

[Ed follows Cuddles and Toothy.]

(At Goro's Cabin.)

[Door opens, Sniffles arrives.]

Sniffles: And this is your cabin.

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy comes in.]

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: Wow!

Toothy: Check it out, guys.

[Toothy walks up to the bed and checks it out.]

Toothy: Triplets' bunk beds!

Sniffles: Well, make yourself comfortable! See you guys later!

[Sniffles leaves to go back to his own cabin.]

Ed: (Gasp!) Look!

[Ed walks up to the table to check it out.]

Ed: Mortal Kombat action figures!

[Ed grabs the Sub-Zero action figure, takes off head.]

Ed: They even have detachable body parts! Awesome!

Cuddles: (Gasp!) Is that what I think that is?

[Cuddles walks up to the arcade machine, Ed and Toothy follows Cuddles.]

All three: The Original Mortal Kombat Arcade Machine!

Toothy: This is cool! I can't believe there's an arcade machine in our cabin, what can be cooler than that?

[Ed and Cuddles tries to play, Toothy takes out two quarters for 2 players, sees that there's no coin slot.]

Toothy: I stand corrected. I call winner!

[Ed (2nd Player) and Cuddles (1st Player) starts and plays the game.]

(1 hour later)

[Ed (1st Player) and Toothy (2nd Player) are still playing the game, Cuddles walks up to them.]

Cuddles: Hey! I wanna go swimming. Do you guys wanna go swimming?

Ed: (Too distracted to the game.) We'll be there in a minute!

Toothy: I'm beating you, Ed!

[Cuddles leaves.]

MK Announcer: Finish Him!

[Toothy performs a Fatality.]

MK Announcer: Toothy wins! Fatality!

[Ed and Toothy stops playing.]

Toothy: (Singing) Yay-yeah! Seven times in a row!

Ed: Man! How did you get so good?

Toothy: My dad taught me how to play all his favorite games. Did you have fun, anyways?

Ed: Yeah! It is a just a game no matter how many times you win or lose.

[Ed and Toothy stands there looking around.]

Ed: You wanna go swimming on the beach?

Toothy: Sure!

[Ed and Toothy leaves.]

(At the beach.)

[Cuddles was about to take off his slippers, Ed and Toothy walks up to Cuddles, Ed is in his swim trunks.]

Ed: Hey, Cuddles!

Toothy: Whassup, buddy? We didn't know you were going to go swimming!

Cuddles: (Pauses) ...What?

[A large ray of light comes out of the water, all three have their eyes open widely looking at the light.]

Toothy: What... Is... That?

Cuddles: I don't know.

[The ray of light stop, appearing a merfox.]

Ed: Who's that?

Merfox: I am a merfox named Coral. Who are you?

Ed: I'm Edward, friends call me Ed for short.

Cuddles: I'm Cuddles.

Toothy: And I am Toothy! We're best friends of each other!

[All three hug each other, Coral looks at them with a weird face.]

Coral: O-kay? Who wants to have a fun adventure?

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: (Loudly) ADVENTURE?! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Coral: Underwater.

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy stops.]

Ed: Well, you see...

Toothy: I-it's just that we..

Cuddles: We can't breathe underwater.

Coral: Got you covered.

[Coral gives Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy each a breather. (Like the ones from Futurama.)]

Cuddles: What are these for?

Coral: These will help you breathe underwater. Here, let me put them on you guys.

[Coral puts the breathers into Ed's, Cuddles', and Toothy's nose and mouth.]

Coral: You in now?

All three: Yeah!

Coral: Then let's go!

[Jack appears.]

Jack: Can I come?

Ed: Sorry, this is an adventure of three.

Coral: Actually, I got more breathers to pass around...

Ed: (Silently) Trust us, you don't want to hang around with that guy.

Cuddles and Toothy: (Silently) Yeah!

[Coral looks at Jack, sees that he's being annoying.]

Coral: On second thought, you can stay here and help us find 1,000 gold shells.

Jack: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[Jack starts digging for shells.]

Toothy: What are the shells for?

Coral: It will keep him busy while we have a real adventure. Come on!

[Ed takes off his helmet while Cuddles takes off his bunny slippers.]

Coral: Um... What are you two doing?

Ed: Getting ready to go underwater.

Cuddles: We don't wanna lose our stuff while we're all in underwater.

Coral: Oh, I see.

[Ed and Cuddles goes in the water.]

Ed: Okay, NOW let's go.

[Toothy also goes in the water and the gang dives underwater.]

All three: (Amazed) Wooooooooooooooooooow!

Ed: So this is what it feels like to breathe underwater like a fish.

Toothy: Looks blurry.

Ed: That's because we're in underwater, silly.

Toothy: Ooooooohhhhhh!

Cuddles: It doesn't matter, it looks beautiful anyway. (To Coral.) So, what's the adventure, Coral?

Coral: A lost treasure chest.

Ed: Cool! I hope there's a golden sword in the chest.

Toothy: I hope it's full gems so I can put some in my buck teeth.

Cuddles: I bet it's full of Mortal Kombat trading cards.

[Ed, Toothy, and Coral looks at Cuddles.]

Cuddles: ...What? This is Kamp Kombat!

[Ed, Toothy, and Coral swims deeper while Cuddles stays put.]

Cuddles: I'm expecting the card's in the treasure che... Oh screw it, (Follows the gang.) we're underwater, they all might get all mushy anyway.

(Back at the surface.)

[Jack dugs up a hole in the sand, founds one golden shell.]

Jack: Woo! One down, 999 to go!

[5 GTNs approaches.]

GTN #1: Hey, child!

[Jack looks at the GTNs.]

GTN #1: We was wondering if you saw a human child, have you seen him?

Jack: Oh, you mean Ed? Sure, he and his friends are underwater while I dig up 1,000 gold shells.

[The GTNs walks up to the water.]

Jack: Hey, guys! We're on an adventure! (Very High Pitch) YAAAAAAAAAAA...

[Jack continues to say "yay" while the GTN holds their ears.]

GTN #1: (Loudly) Aw! Damn it! Let's just dive so we wouldn't have to hear this crap!

[The GTNs dives underwater to look for Ed and to get away from Jack.]

(Back in the deep underwater.)

[Ed, Cuddles, Toothy, and Coral keeps swimming.]

Coral: Look!

[Treasure chest appears, the gang approaches the chest.]

Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy: Woooooooooooow!

Ed: So, what do you think is in the chest, Toothy?

Toothy: I don't know. What about you Cuddles?

[Coral opens the chest.]

Cuddles: I just hope it's something we wan-

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy sees the opened chest.]

All three: Huh?

[Treasure chest filled with Russell's pictures and possessions.]

Cuddles: This chest is full of pictures of Rusty.

Ed: And some of his stuff that went overboard.

Toothy: (Curious) I wonder whose chest is in here.

Coral: Um... Don't tell Russell this but... It's mine.

All three: (Singing) Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

(Back at the GTNs.)

[GTNs swims deeper, heres voices.]

GTN #1: Shh!

GTN #2: (Whisper) What is it?

GTN #1: (Whisper) I here something!

[GTNs listens.]

Cuddles: How did you even know him?

(Back at Ed, Cuddles, Toothy, and Coral.)

Coral: Well, it was two years ago, I made the ship crash into a boulder with my looks, Russell's dad was the captain in the W.A.R. Navy, and you know how the captain will have to stay in the sinking ship. Anyway, it was bring your kid to work day, which is why Russell was on the ship. He sank with his dad, his dad drowned and Russell was also drowning. But I bring him up to shore, preformed CPR, and that's how I saved him. But ever sense I seen him drowning, I fell in love with him, and that CPR was worth to the both of us.

Toothy: Eww!

Ed: Well, you can keep your creepy pictures of him, (Grabs some of Russell's possessions.) but some of his stuff he wants back and I'm gonna give it to him!

[GTNs arrives.]

GTN #1: No you guys aren't!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy looks at the Tree Ninjas.]

Ed: You again? You guys just never give up!

Toothy: How did you find us, anyway?

GTN #3: (Points at Toothy) Shut it, beaver boy!

[Toothy gasps, whimpers, and cries, tears appear out of his eyes despite that they're all in underwater, Ed and Cuddles hugs Toothy.]

Ed: (Angry, Defends Toothy.) I said it once, I can say it again. (Stops hugging Toothy.) Nobody... Talks... To... One of my... (Loudly) BEST FRIENDS LIKE THAT!

GTN #1: Oh? And what are you gonna do about it? There's only five of us with higher experience and only one of you, kid!

[Cuddles Stops hugging Toothy, joins Ed.]

Cuddles: Correction! There's only five of you and only two of us! You ready, Ed?

Ed: As always!

[Ed Kung-Fu poses while Cuddles Karate poses, GTN Ninjustu poses and surrounds Ed and Cuddles, Ed and Cuddles goes back to back.]

GTN #1: Let's get them, boys!

[GTN #5 charges at Cuddles, Cuddles right jabs GTN #5 in the face, blood comes out of mouth washed up by ocean, then drop kicks GTN #5. GTN #4 charges at to Ed, Ed left jabs GTN #4 in the face, right cross, repeats 3 times, then roundhouse kicks GTN #4, GTN #4 knocked out, body floats to surface. Cuddles grabs GTN #5 and repeatedly knee kicks GTN #5's head 3 times, Cuddles left uppercuts him, GTN #5 knocked out.]

Cuddles: (To Ed) Now this is what I call, Mortal Kombat!

GTN #1: (Frustrated) Guuh! (To Ed and Cuddles) You kids think this is a game? You're all gonna die now!

[All three GTNs pulls out their weapons and charges against Ed and Cuddles, Ed and Cuddles gets back to their fighting positions, the GTNs stops and holds their mouth as their face turns blue from lack of oxygen, drops weapons.]

GTN #3: Um... I... Need... Air!

[Ed and Cuddles backs down of their fighting poses, looks at the drowning GTNs.]

GTN #1: (Last breath) I guess we can't hold our breath for long! How come you guys stayed in underwater for this long?

Toothy: Because we got this breathers (Points at his own breather.)! They help us breathe underwater.

[The GTNs swims back up to the surface fast to get some air.]

Ed: Ha! I guess they can't hold their breath underwater for more than five minutes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Toothy: That's not actually bad compare to us, we can't even hold our breath underwater for 30 seconds.

Ed: Oh yeah, that's right.

[Coral becomes sad because she has to give up Russell's stuff, Ed swims to her.]

Ed: Hey hey, Coral. It's okay. Tell you what, Russell probably already replaced his stuff he threw overboard, perhaps you can keep them.

[Coral becomes happy, shakes Ed's hand.]

Coral: Thanks, Ed! Maybe we can have another adventure some other time.

Ed: I hope so too, Coral. I hope so too.

(Back at the beach.)

Coral: I hope we can play again, until next time. (Waves her hand bye to Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy.)

All three: Bye!

Ed: See you next time.

Cuddles: I hope we see you again!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy waves bye as Jack appears with 5 golden shells.]

Jack: Wait, it's over? (To Coral, loudly) Hey! Come back! I got the shells you asked for!

Toothy: Forget it, "Jack"-ass!

[Ed and Cuddles laughs.]

Cuddles: Good one, Toothy.

[The trio leaves the beach.]

Cuddles: Wow! That was a damn good adventure!

Ed: Yeah, but now we can have some fun back at Kamp Kombat!

Cuddles and Toothy: (Loudly) YEAH!

(1 week later.)

[All the campers leaves Kamp Kombat.]

Ed: (Angry) I can't believe we lost!

Cuddles: (Angry) I know right, who would've thought that Nutty beated all of us in endurance mode, all of us, three againist one!

Ed: And Sniffles beated us at cosplay tournament.

Toothy: Not to mention that Jack beated us at the Talent Show.

Ed: (Normal) I thought that me and Cuddles was good, we was pretending we were in the real Mortal Kombat game!

Toothy: (Normal) I'm surprised that Jack won!

Cuddles: (Normal) It wasn't our fault, Lumpy was the judge of the talent show.

Ed: Oh well, at least we had some fun spending time together, right?

Cuddles and Toothy: Yep!

[All the campers gets in the bus so they can go back home.]

_And so, it was a fun week for Ed, Cuddles, and Toothy._

Splendid: This fanfic is great! They didn't even won the camp wars.

_It doesn't matter if they won, what really matters is the had fun, go on an adventure, meat a merfox, and get to spend time together for a full week._

Splendid: What else is the lesson? Video games rots your brains?

_No! Video games keeps you focus in real life, and can be educational!_

Splendid: Where did you even learn that, anyway?

_Your mom and your face!_

_[Punches Splendid, no effect.]_

Splendid: Ha! You can't hurt me with your bare han-

_[Grabs kriptonut, shows it to Splendid.]_

Splendid: (Getting sick) N-No! Get that awa- (Throws up on the floor.)

_Not on my rug! It was expensive! I guess now I have to clean it up! See you guys later!_

**Moral of the Story: Always wait 30 minutes before you swim after eating.**

**Next Chapter: Cuddles finds out that Giggles is having an affair with a random Giggles fan.**


	7. Chapter 6: The Boy Who Cried Wolf

**Chapter 6: The Boy Who Cries Wolf**

**Starring: Edward**

**Featuring: Cuddles, Petunia, Sniffles, Lammy, and Truffles (A 29 year old grayish-blue pig with tusk, wears a blue sailor suit and a white sailor hat.)**

**Special OC Guess: Boony (An 18 year old grey male wolf with black tail and hair that has a ponytail on the back, wears a red and black plaid shirt, has a red eye and a green eye. OC courtesy of BoonyTheWolf.)**

_Even though Ed is a hero in Happy TreeVille..._

Splendid: (Silently) Pssh, my ass!

_...He has to go to school like the rest of the kids, he goes to Happy Tree Elementary along with his friends his age. A long, boring school day for our hero._

(Happy Tree Elementary, 1:56 PM.)

Truffles: (Teaches students about math.)

[Ed gets bored, a note was passed to him. Ed reads it.]

Note for Ed: Dear Edward, I wish me and Mr. Pickles can sit next to you so we can hold hands. Your Girlfriend, Lammy.

[Ed looks at Lammy, Lammy waves at Ed, Ed turns back and crumbles up the letter she gave him.]

Ed: (In his head.) Why does she always stalk me?

Truffles: Edward!

[Ed gots Truffles attention.]

Truffles: Pay attention!

[Ed listens to Truffles, still bored.]

Truffles: (To Ed) What is 7 times 3?

Ed: Uh... Um... 73?

[The entire class laughs.]

Truffles: Wrong! (Silently) Dumbass. (Normal) Sniffles.

Sniffles: Twenty-one.

Truffles: Right again!

Ed: (Coughs) Nerd.

[The entire class laughs again.]

Lammy: [To Ed] Ba-a-a-ah! You're very funny, my Eddy-bear.

Ed: (Silently, about Lammy) Not as funny as when I'm gonna slice you in half like bread, then I'll laugh 'til my guts comes out of my mouth.

(After class in the hallways.)

[Ed and Cuddles walks to class, Petunia shows up.]

Cuddles: Hi, Petunia.

Ed: Whaccha doing?

Petunia: Hi, Ed and Cuddles! Are you two going to class?

Ed: (Bored) I'm afraid so, I freaking hate school.

Cuddles: Yeah! Why do we always have to go to school?

Petunia: Well at least this place is clean.

Ed: (Pauses) I wish I could just leave school anytime I want.

[Ed and Cuddles leaves.]

Cuddles: I know, right? That would've be awesome if we can.

(After school.)

[Ed walks back home, a gray wolf appears.]

Wolf: (Sees Ed) Hey kid! Tired of going to school?

[Ed walks up to the wolf.]

Ed: You know it! Why do I always have to go to school? I live by myself!

Wolf: It's probably because you have to in or to "Learn something!", that's why I dropped out and started saving lives.

Ed: (Gasp!) You save lives, too? No way, that's what I do!

Wolf: Cool! By the way, my names Boony! (Tries to shake Ed's hand.)

Ed: (Pauses) ...Edward, friends call me Ed. (Shakes Boony's hand.)

(At Boony's house.)

[Boony is under his truck working on it, Ed helps.]

Boony: Socket Wrench.

[Ed hands Boony the socket wrench.]

Ed: Hey, Boony. I gotta question to ask you.

[Boony takes a break from working on his truck.]

Boony: Sure!

Ed: I was wondering if you know a lot about Happy TreeVille.

Boony: Don't know much since I was 17. I was camping in the woods at 16, then I got lost for a long time. At the time I learn how to survive by hunting and harvesting food, find clean water to drink, and find or make my own shelter. I always kept going until I find civilization, until I find this peaceful town. I stayed here ever since.

Ed: Wow! I'm not from this town, either! I used to live with Buddhist Monkey and Sensei Orangutan in China, until I was 7 that is.

Boony: (Surprised) You know the great Buddhist Monkey? He was the famous kung-fu fighting machine! Do he taught you how to fight?

Ed: No no no, Sensei Orangutan taught both me and Buddhist Monkey. Do you know how to fight?

Boony: Yep! Been taking karate since I was your age.

Ed: Oh! Okay.

[Boony gets back to working on his truck.]

Boony: You're a good kid, Ed. I can hang out with you.

Ed: I was gonna say the same to you.

Boony: (Holds out his hand.) Ratchet.

[Ed hands Boony the ratchet.]

(Later at Happy Tree Café.)

[The temp waitress, Petunia, hands Ed (Orders a cheeseburger with fries.) and Boony (Orders the chicken wings.) their food.]

Ed: Thanks, Petunia. (To Boony) Did you know I gotta sword?

Boony: No way! I got a machete! It's a good weapon for me. What kind of sword do you got, though? (Takes one chicken wing, eats it.)

Ed: It's a sword that can electrocute it's own blade! Sniffles made it for me. (Grabs cheeseburger, takes a bite.)

Boony: Sniffles made it, huh? Well I wonder if he can upgrade my machete to make it shoot fire.

[Ed ad Boony laughs, crumbs spews and accidentally lands on Petunia.]

Petunia: (Gasp!) Oh no! Germs!

[Petunia goes to the restroom to wash the crumbs off, Ed and Boony looks.]

Ed: Sorry, Petunia!

(Tonight at Ed's tree house.)

[Boony was dropping off Ed in his truck.]

Ed: Thanks, Boony! Hey, you wanna come in for a visit?

Boony: I don't know, Ed. I gotta sleep early to fix up my truck.

Ed: (Gets out of truck.) C'mon, I got a lot to show you in my house.

Boony: I... I don't-

Ed: C'mon. You drove me back home with your truck, I don't see anything wrong with it, yet. You deserve a break.

Boony: I guess you're right, after all (Gets out of truck.) I have been working all day until I met you.

Ed: Alright!

[Ed and Boony walks up to Ed's locked door, Ed grabs his house key from his pocket, unlocks the door, they both gets inside, Drifty appears and sees the truck.] (Yeah that's right! Drifty came back to life, I don't want to run out of villians.)

Drifty: Ooooooooh! A truck! I always wanna kill people by running 'em over with a truck.

[Drifty pick locks the locked truck door with a screwdriver.]

(In Ed's house.)

[Boony looks around Ed's house.]

Boony: Wow! Hard to believe that you were living with your parents like the rest of the kids. Well, except Cuddles, who lives with his uncle.

[Ed grabs his sword, walks up to Boony to show it to him.]

Ed: Behold! The Electro-Sword!

[Ed pulls out his sword to show Boony more of the sword.]

Boony: Cool! (Holds Ed's sword.) It's amazing! (Looks at button.) What does this button do?

[Boony presses button, electricity comes out touching the blade.]

Boony: Awesome!

[Boony hears his truck starting.]

Boony: What the hell?

Ed: What is it?

Boony: It's my truck! Someones trying to steal it.

Ed: Let's go check it out.

[Ed and Boony walks out of the front door, sees someone hot wiring Boony's truck.]

Boony: (Loudly) HEY! STOP!

[Drifty looks at Boony, Ed looks at Drifty.]

Ed: (Gasp!) It's Drifty!

Drifty: Damn right I am!

[Drifty started the truck.]

Ed: I thought you don't steal.

Drifty: I don't steal, just cars and weapons of any kind! Now if you two excuse me, I'm gonna see if I can run over some pedestrians, I wanna squish them 'til their guts come out of their mouth. See ya losers! Thanks for the truck. Ah he he he he he he he.

If [Drifty drives off with Boony's truck.]

Ed: We got to stop him! He's gonna drive on the sidewalk, killing the pedestrians.

Boony: And he stole my truck! Without it we can't keep up with him.

Ed: Of course, how can we even chase a stolen truck on foot?

Boony: We can't, it's impossible. But I know someone who can.

(At Sniffles house.)

[Ed knock on the door. Sniffles answers.]

Sniffles: Solutat- Oh, it's you! Trying to wake me up so you can call me a-

Ed: Yeah, yeah, I get it! Get over it.

Sniffles: I didn't say it was an insult. Anyways, what can I do for you too?

Boony: My truck got stolen by some raccoon with a bandanna on his head, can I borrow your car?

Sniffles: As the youngest child with a driver license (In Happy Tree Friends AC, driving age is 15 unless you're smart enough to drive, it is also illegal to drive while being blind.) because of my high IQ, I'd have to reject to your request.

Ed: You don't understand! Drifty stolen Boony's truck, and he's probably running over pedestrians right about now!

Sniffles: (Gasp!) Drifty stole your truck? He's going to commit multiple hit and runs!

Ed: So you're gonna help us?

[Sniffles takes his car key out of his pocket and hands them to Boony.]

Sniffles: Here's the keys! Stop Drifty!

[Ed and Boony runs to Sniffles' garage where his car is, both of them gets in the car, Boony drives out of the garage.]

Ed: (To Sniffles) Thanks, man!

[Boony drives away.]

(Meanwhile downtown)

[Handy and The Mole (A 32 year old pink blind male mole with circular sunglasses, a black turtle-neck sweater, a mole on his face, and a cane. ) was walking to work, Handy is holding a drink with is new left hand.] (Yes, he still has his new left hand yet he is right handed.)

Handy: I'm so glad that I can hold things again!

[Mole not responding.]

Handy: Why are we still friends?

[Drifty comes in and runs over Handy, Handy got squished in half, blood comes out of his nose and mouth Mole drops his cane, trying to touch the ground so he can feel his cane even though he just passed it.]

Drifty: He he he he! 20 points!

(Back to Ed and Boony)

[Drifty is driving while Ed shines his sword with a cloth.]

Ed: We have to hurry! We don't wanna see anymore hurt!

[Boony looks at his truck with Drifty in it, blood is covered on the hood and the tires.]

Boony: There's my truck!

Ed: Let's get him!

[Boony chases Drifty, Boony honks Sniffles' car.]

Boony: Hey! Give me back my truck!

[Drifty responses to Boony by raising his middle finger at him.]

Boony: He just flipped me off!

[Ed stops polishing his sword.]

Ed: Oh, it's on now!

[Ed sticks his body out the window with his sword, points it at Boony's truck.]

Boony: Be careful, I worked hard on my truck.

[Ed shoots his sword, electricity comes out of the sword, trying to hit the truck to overcharge the trucks battery. Keeps shooting at the truck 7 times and misses, tries to shoot the truck again, accidentally zaps Giggles.]

Ed: Can you slow down? So I can get a clear shot?

Boony: Sorry, Ed. But it's my truck, I don't want anything bad happened to it.

Ed: I guess I need to use... Both hands!

[Ed shoots his electro-beam from his sword at the truck, finally hits the truck, the truck stops, Boony stops the car, Ed and Boony gets out and checks the truck, pops the truck's hood.]

Boony: (Looks at the battery) Eh. I can buy a new battery for this thing. At least you didn't blow it up, Ed.

[Drifty appears with a M1 with a scope sniper rifle, aims for Ed and misses, hits Boony's truck.]

Drifty: You're not going anywhere, twerp!

[Ed and Boony turns to Drifty, Drifty is mad, Boony then looks at his truck, the door of the truck has a bullet hole, Boony looks back at Drifty with an angry face.]

Boony: You son of a bitch! That was my truck you're messing with! Do you want things to get-

[Drifty points his rifle at Boony, Ed looks at Drifty then at Boony.]

Drifty: (Silently) Now die!

[Ed runs up to Drifty, slapping his rifle out of his hands and on the gun, steps on the rifle.]

Drifty: You better give me back my sniper rifle! (Loudly) NOW!

[Ed ignores Drifty by sliding the rifle to Boony, Boony picks it up and throws it on the other side of the road.]

Drifty: (Threatening) Oh ho ho ho, you two are gonna be buried next to each other!

Ed: (To Drifty) You know, you don't have to have a gun to fight in close quarters. Why don't we settle this, (Take out his sword.) and battle like last time?

Drifty: The only thing I like killing more, is to kill people in a slow painful death.

[Drifty takes out his machete, charges at Ed, swings his machete vertically at Ed to hit him, Ed blocks and swings his sword diagonally, Drifty blocks and thrust his machete, Ed blocks and swings his sword horizontally, Drifty blocks and swings his machete diagonally, Ed blocks and thrust his sword. Keeps repeating while they slowly move into the woods. The kept fighting until they're next to a tree, then Drifty knee kicks Ed to the tree, Ed goes down on the tree, Drifty points his machete at Ed. Ed kicks Drifty in the stomach, gets back up and roundhouse kicks Drifty in his face, blood and a tooth comes out of his mouth.]

Drifty: What makes you think you can do this to me? (Loudly) I'M AN ADULT!

Ed: That is no excuse to commit crimes, it just means you have a better chance of going to prison then me.

Drifty: What? (Pauses) ...Fine, have it your way, kid!

[Drifty swings his machete at Ed, Ed blocks, Ed amd Drifty sword fights again using the same techniques when they was fighting before they went up to the woods, Ed front kicks Drifty, Drifty falls down and finds a rock, picks up rock and gets back up, throws rock at Ed, Ed slices rock with his sword. Ed charges at Drifty and swings his sword at Drifty, they sword fight right back out of the woods, Drifty punches Ed in the face, Ed gets knocked down, Drifty pulls out his M9 pistol and points it at him.]

Drifty: You see, kid? You can't beat me twice. You should've stayed out of this, now die while you're still young!

[Ed closes his eyes, before Drifty can pull the trigger, Boony comes in and disarms Drifty, points Drifty's gun at Drifty, Drifty raises both his hands.]

Boony: You have no right to do this! You can steal my truck, but when you try to take my friends' lives, that's when you piss me off!

[Ed opens his eyes.]

Boony: So I give you 10 seconds to leave and you won't get shot!

[Drifty flees, Boony helps Ed up.]

Boony: Are you okay?

Ed: Never been better, Boony! Thanks for saving my life!

Boony: No problem, after all...

Ed and Boony: Always happy to help out a friend! (Laughs joyfully)

[Mole walks in on the other side of the sidewalk still looking for his cane with his hand, picks up the rifle that Boony threw over thinking that it's his cane, walks across the busy road, Ed looks at Mole.]

Ed: Look, the Moles at it again! I better go help him.

[Ed runs up to the Mole, guides him out of the road.]

Ed: You shouldn't be in the busy streets you know.

[Ed got Mole out of the road.]

Ed: But I guess you knew that, but didn't see it.

[Mole thanks Ed, accidentally pulls the trigger of the rifle while it's pointing at Ed's leg.]

Ed: (Loudly) OOOOOWWWWW!

[Ed groans in pain while the Mole runs for his life because he thought he's being shot at, blood comes out of Ed's foot.]

Boony: Oh, dear god! We gotta get you to the hospital!

[Boony helps Ed out by putting him in the back of his truck. Starts the truck and the truck's started despite about the earlier events, drives Ed to the hospital.]

_Uh... Wow! The Mole even injured Ed!_

Splendid: And I thought the ending would suck! But I was wrong! Ed just got shot! Ha ha!

_Splendid, man. You got issues!_

Splendid: Well at least you learned something at the end, the Mole's dangerous to hang around. Even if you're like that brat! I mean, he even shot Ed-

_[Shows Splendid kryptonut again.]_

Splendid: (Vomits) Get away, my only weakne- (Vomits)

_See ya readers next time!_

**Moral of the Story: Don't drink and drive.**

**Next Chapter: An epic battle between Ed and Flipqy, in a game of checkers.**


	8. Chapter 7: The Stolen Axe

**Chapter 7: The Stolen Axe**

**Starring: Edward, and Toothy**

**Featuring: Lifty, Shifty, Flaky, Nutty, and Lumpy**

**Special OC Guest: Catchy (A 17 year old gray male wolf with a puff of hair, has red and blue eyes, black mask, black cape with a hood, black gloves, black boots, and a black belt with a gold star. OC Courtesy of PogorikiFan10.)**

_A nice day to roam in a park, the Tree Friend children were playing in the playground, Ed and Toothy are playing on the swing sets. The two best friends were having lots of fun together, and I finally got some time off from Splendid._

Splendid: I heard that!

_Can't hear you, don't care. So where was I? Oh, yeah. The two best friends were having a good time, then they see Flaky coming, as scared as she is, warning them that the swing set is dangerous._

(Ed and Toothy are in the swing set, Flaky is just watching them, Ed's golden axe is on the picnic table near them.)

Ed: Flaky, this swing set feels sturdy. You don't have to worry all the time. Give it a try!

Flaky: (Worried) Guys, i-it doesn't look s-s-safe to m-m-me.

Toothy: Come on, Flaky!

Flaky: (Scared) I-I still don't know.

Ed: Come on.

Flaky: (Scared) Okay, I'll s-sit down o-o-on the seat.

[Flaky tries to sit down on the middle of the seat.]

Ed: Alright, Toothy. You wanna jump off on the count of three?

Toothy: Okay, let's do it!

[Ed and Toothy swings as they count.]

Ed and Toothy: One, two.

[Flaky interrupts.]

Flaky: (Worried) Ahh... Please don't. (Closes eyes) I can't watch.

Ed and Toothy: Three!

[Ed and Toothy jumps off the swing set uninjured.]

Ed: See, Flaky? We're okay.

Toothy: Yeah, ha ha! It was fun!

[Ed and Toothy tries to push Flaky.]

Ed: Now you try.

Toothy: Yeah, Flaky. It won't kill ya.

[Flaky gets off of seat, screams and runs away, Ed and Toothy pauses while looking at Flaky.]

Ed: I don't know what's her deal.

Toothy: Probably her fear come's in too soon.

[Nutty comes in with a lollipop, Ed sees him.]

Ed: Look, it's Nutty.

[Toothy looks at Nutty, Nutty shakes up to Ed and Toothy.]

Nutty: (Fast) Hi Ed, Toothy. What a surprise! Do you got any spare change? (Laughs)

[Ed gets in his pocket while Toothy talks.]

Toothy: I don't have any-

Ed: (Has s a dollar.) Will this cover it?

Nutty: Oooooooh! (Takes dollar, leaves crazily.)

[A gray wolf appears in the bushes, sees Nutty with a dollar and a lollipop.]

Wolf: He he he he!

[The wolf runs up to Nutty, steals his dollar and his lollipop.]

Nutty: Hey, those are mine! Give 'em back!

Wolf: Never! He he he! Their mine now!

[The wolf runs away from Nutty while Nutty chases after him, the wolf runs to the well, gets in the well by hanging on to the edge of the well, Nutty looks around of the well, but lost him, the wolf gets out of the well, walks back up into the bushes, sees Ed's golden axe on the picnic table on his way back.]

Wolf: Ah, he he he he!

[The wolf silently walks up to the axe slowly, grabs a hold of the axe, Ed sees the wolf touching his axe.]

Ed: (Loudly) HEY, (Normal) that's not yours! Put it do-.

[The wolf runs away with Ed's axe.]

Ed: (Loudly) HEY!

[Ed runs after the wolf, they ran into downtown, through the busy streets, and in the subway station, the wolf runs into the train, Ed lost him, but leaves him a message.]

Ed: Crap! (Looks at the message.) Huh?

Note: Ha ha ha ha! You just got robbed of your stuff. You will never get them back, little less know where I live! Your Thief, Catchy the Wolf. P.S.: I live at 274 Pine St. if you want your stuff back, but be warned, it has attack dogs and high level security!

Ed: (Frustrated) Oh great, I have to deal with this!

[Toothy appears, panting and tired from running after Catchy.]

Toothy: (Pants) Did you... (Pants) catch him, Ed?

Ed: No, Toothy. He got away. But luckily, he must be stupider than Lumpy to right his own address.

Toothy: (Pants) I don't know... (Pants) Lumpy is too stupid... (Pants) To write this note.

Ed: Well it doesn't matter, we now know where he lives.

Toothy: Yeah! We should go over there for a"visit", (raises and lowers eyebrows) know what I mean? Huh? You get it?

Ed: Oh, I get what you're saying. (Winks) But we need a ride over there! C'mon, let's go!

[Ed and Toothy leaves, exits out of the subway station.]

(Outside the subway station.)

[Ed and Toothy walks out of the subway station.]

Toothy: Let's take a cab.

Ed: Good idea! I still got about fifty dollars.

Toothy: Wait, where did you get that much money?

Ed: I worked at the burger joint as a temp fry cook. (In Happy Tree Friends AC, ages 6-11 must require a worker's permit to get a job, 12-17 can get a part time job without a worker's permit.)

**FLASHBACK**

(At the burger joint.)

[Ed was cooking 4 patties, busboy comes in and accidentally sneezes on the grill.]

Lumpy (His boss): Ed! Did you sneezed on the burgers?

Ed: Lumpy! Umm... No... It was the...

Lumpy: You sneezed on the food, don't lie! I know it was you! Do you know what that means?

Ed: (Disappointed) Oh-ho ho ho, my god! I'm gonna lose my permit!

Lumpy: Congratulations! You just earned a promotion!

Ed: Please send my last paycheck to the... Wait, what?

Lumpy: Yep! You are now the head fry cook of... This... Place...

[Lumpy leaves while Ed gets back to flipping burgers.]

Ed: I'm never gonna eat here again!

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

Toothy: Oh, you always live alone, huh? Gotta pay the bills.

Ed: Actually, Handy build the house for me, the bills go to him.

Toothy: Huh...

Ed: (Pauses) Yeah... Hey, there's a cab.

[Ed and Toothy sticks their thumbs out to take a taxi, the taxi stops next to them, Ed and Toothy gets in the taxi.]

Lumpy (Taxi driver): Where to, kids?

Ed: Oh god! It's you!

Lumpy: I can take you anywhere you like.

Toothy: Okay... We want to go to 247 Pine St.

Lumpy: Okey-dokey!

[Lumpy drives the kids to Pine St., drives stupidly, drives over the speed limit, causing property damage, ran over Nutty, and finally stops to their destination.]

Lumpy: Here we are!

[Ed and Toothy are dizzy, Toothy vomits, they both gey out without paying because Lumpy is too stupid to realize it, they discovered that they are in a pine forest about 5 miles away from town.]

Ed: (Loudly) CRAP!

Toothy: (Loudly) DAMN IT, LUMPY!

(Later)

Ed: Don't worry, Toothy. We can just... Walk back to town.

Toothy: You think we'll survive?

Ed: I know so! Now, lets do it!

(30 seconds later)

[Ed and Toothy are lying on the road, crawling to move, exhausted.]

Ed: (Panting) We're never gonna make it!

Toothy: (Panting) We're gonna die!

[Ed and Toothy stops crawling.]

Ed: (Weak) I can't believe this is how it's gonna end. At least I'll die with my best friend.

Toothy: That's was I gonna say, too.

[Ed and Toothy hugs each other, Ed sees something.]

Ed: Toothy, look!

[Toothy sees what Ed sees, a gas station.]

Ed: It's a gas station!

[Ed and Toothy walks up towards the gas station despite the earlier events.]

Toothy: Let's check it out, I bet they have a map on how to get back home.

[Ed and Toothy went in the gas station.]

Ed and Toothy: Wooooow!

Ed: I'm gonna get me a soda.

[Ed walks off, Toothy goes to next to the register to find him a map, Lifty and Shifty comes in and goes up to the cashier (Cro-Marmot), Toothy looks at the robbers, walks up to Ed.]

Toothy: (Whispers) Ed, (Points to the raccoons.) look!

[Ed sees Lifty and Shifty breaking open the cash register.]

Ed: (Whispers) They're stealing from Cro-Marmot! This is wrong! Someone's gotta do something about this. And that someone is me!

Toothy: (Whispers) Ed, don't!

Ed: (Whispers) I have to, Cro-Marmot is defenseless. No one should be defenseless when I'm around!

[Lifty and Shifty opens the cash register and takes all the money, Ed walks up to the raccoons.]

Ed: Hey, you two!

[The raccoons looks at Ed.]

Lifty: Oh no! It's Ed!

Shifty: (Loudly) RUN!

[Lifty and Shifty runs out the door.]

Ed: Quick, Toothy! They're getting away!

[Ed and Toothy runs out the door, they see Lifty and Shifty gets in the van and starting it leaving the back door open, Ed and Toothy sees the the opened back door with nothing but blankets and bags in it.]

Toothy: They kept the back door opened, let's get inside.

[Ed and Toothy gets in the van and hides in the blankets without Lifty and Shifty noticing, the van has started and the van move while Ed and Toothy are still in the blankets.]

(Later at Lifty and Shifty's hideout.)

[Lifty and Shifty arrives, got out of their van and in to their hideout, Ed and Toothy are still in the blankets.]

Ed: (Whispers) Do you think they got out?

Toothy: (Whispers) I don't know, why don't you check it out?

Ed: (Whispers) I don't know...

Toothy: Following the raccoons was your idea.

Ed: (Whispers) I know... I was just...

Toothy: (Whispers) C'mon, Ed.

Ed: (Whispers) Okay, we'll do it together.

Toothy: (Whispers) Okay, on three.

Ed and Toothy: (Whispers) One... Two...

[Ed and Toothy gets out of the van.]

Ed and Toothy: (Normal) Three!

[Ed and Toothy checks around to see if Lifty and Shifty are here, no sign of them.]

Toothy: I don't see them.

Ed: (Points at the raccoons' hideout.) Let's look into that old, abandoned building.

Toothy: Okay!

[Ed and Toothy goes into the raccoons' hideout, sees nothing but a lot of money, some stolen jewels, and stacks of bars of golden and silver.]

Ed: (Surprised) Look at all this Toothy!

Toothy: (Surprised) Yeah!

Both of them: Wooooooow!

Ed: Hey, Toothy. Do you know what this means?

Toothy: That we found a thief's hideout and this is where he stores his stolen merchandise?

Ed: Close...

[Ed and Toothy looks at each other.]

Ed and Toothy: (Loudly) WE HIT THE ULTIMATE JACKPOT!

(Meanwhile, into Lifty and Shifty's room.)

[Lifty and Shifty are discussing an alignment for their number one fan, Catchy.]

Shifty: So, what makes you think you have what it takes to be one of us?

Catchy: Well, I stolen some stuff and got away with it.

Lifty: What kind of stuff?

Catchy: Well, I stolen a kid's dollar and his lollipop, and then I stole (Takes out Ed's axe) this from another kid.

[The raccoons looks at Ed's axe which was stolen.]

Lifty: Is that...

Shifty: Ed's trademark axe?

[The raccoons are still looking at the axe.]

The raccoons: Ah, he he he he!

Shifty: Congratulations! You are now part of our gang!

Catchy: Really?

[Lifty shakes his head yes.]

Catchy: (Loudly) ALRIGHT!

[The three heard a noise coming outside.]

Catchy: What was that sound?

Lifty: Um... We better take care of it. After all, you are a rookie.

Catchy: No, no. You better let me handle this!

(Back to Ed and Toothy.)

[Ed and Toothy had some of the stolen merchandise in two wheelbarrows.]

Toothy: Um, hey buddy?

Ed: Yeah, Toothy?

Toothy: What are you gonna spend your money on?

Ed: I don't know, what do you want the most in the world?

[Catchy appears with Ed's axe.]

Catchy: How about nothing!

Ed: (To Toothy) Huh? Nothing at all?

Catchy: (Loudly) Up here, you morons!

[Ed and Toothy looks at Catchy which is behind them.]

Catchy: What's wrong with you? Ever heard of knocking?

[Ed sees his axe in Catchy's hand.]

Ed: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Robbing banks, looting jewelery stores, and stealing from children! Like my axe you're holding right now!

Catchy: Oh, so this is yours? (Shows Ed the axe.) Finder's keepers, kid! Now leave this place and no one gets hurt.

Ed: I'd rather stay here than to leave without my axe.

[Catchy walks up to Ed.]

Catchy: (Silently) Fine! Have it your way.

[Catchy uppercuts Ed, Ed flies up and comes back down on the floor, Ed gets back up, some blood came out of his mouth, he wipes the blood off his mouth. Toothy hides and watches the battle.]

Ed: Oh, so you wanna fight, eh? (Takes off helmet, kung-fu poses.) Well I'll give you the best fight of your life.

[Catchy throws Ed's axe at Ed, Ed grabs his axe while Catchy hangs on to the rope, pulls the axe so he can make Catchy move up to Ed.]

Ed: Come here!

[Ed uppercuts Catchy, got his axe back, puts his axe away for a hand to hand fight, Catchy flies up and back down on the floor, gets back up and charges at Ed, right jabs Ed in the face, some more blood and a tooth came out of Ed's mouth, Ed left hooks Catchy in the stomach, Catchy crouches down and holds on to his stomach, Ed knee kicks Catchy in the face, some blood came out of Catchy's mouth, Catchy front kicks Ed in the chest, Ed roundhouse kicks Catchy in the face, some more blood came out of Catchy's mouth, Catchy left jab Ed in the eye, Ed gets a black eye, Catchy left jabs then right crosses Ed 4 times as more blood comes out of Ed's nose and mouth, Ed blocks Catchy's 5th left jab and grabs Catchy, knee kicks him 5 times as Catchy's blood came out of his mouth, Ed uppercuts Catchy, Catchy flies up and back down on the floor, Catchy gets back up and pushes Ed down on the floor, Catchy puts his foot on the side of Ed's face.]

Catchy: Any last words?

Ed: (Muffles) Yeah! What is your favorite time of ballet?

Catchy: Huh?

Ed: Mine is the Nutcracker!

[Ed kicks Catchy in the testicles, Catchy holds his testicles while Ed gets back up and right jabs Catchy in the stomach, Ed uppercuts Catchy, Catchy flies up and back down on the floor, Catchy is knocked out, Ed walks up to Catchy.]

Ed: By the way, I hate ballet in general. I was just saying a corny line.

[Toothy comes out from hiding, walks up to Ed.]

Toothy: Ed! You did it!

Ed: You know it, buddy!

Toothy: Now to return all this stuff to the rightful owners!

Ed: No, Toothy. Let the cops handle the rest. For now, lets go back to the park and play some more.

[Ed and Toothy leaves.]

_And so. Ed got his axe back and during he adventure, he spends some quality time with his best friend. Everybody wins._

[Splendid shows up with a anti-nuke suit.]

Splendid: Agreed!

_Um... Why are you wearing that?_

Splendid: You're gonna give me that kryptonut crap again! I don't even want to puke out my guts from it!

_Chill out, dude! I've got rid of it, the joke has already gotten old._

Splendid: Oh, thank god. (Takes off the mask.)

_(Shows Splendid the kryptonut.) Psyche!_

[Splendid vomits.]

_See you readers later!_

**Moral of the story: Violence solves some answers.**

**Next chapter: Cuddles fights a dragon that turns out to be a statue.**


	9. Chapter 8: Hell-O and Goodbye

**Chapter 8: Hell-O and Goodbye**

**Starring: Edward, Boony, and Cuddles**

**Featuring: Sniffles, Flippy, and Flaky**

**OC Special Guest: Josie (An 18 year old white female Diclonius cat with red hair, small sky blue pupils, blue dress-shirt with a black belt, light sky blue under shirt, dark blue jeans, white shoes, dark blue glasses, white torn up scarf, and a sky blue bow on her left ear.) and Jozie (A 18 year old white sorceress cat with maroon hair, red eyes, puffy pink dress with a red belt and puffy pink sleeves, white leggings, pink gloves and boots with red ribbons, a pink witch hat with a red stripe and a red bow, and a pink cape. Both OC Courtesy of PogorikiFan10.)**

**Real A/N: I got the idea from listening Dead-Zone theme from Bruce Faulconer music. If you don't know who he is, he is the composer of the American version of DragonBall Z. If anyone makes a video series of this story, I want it to have Bruce Faulconer music in it. End of real A/N.**

_A rainy day in Happy TreeVille. Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky were all inside in Flaky's room, which was filled with pictures of Flippy that has hearts, a lot of locks on her door and her window, and has a lot of rules_.

Splendid: That place must've suck, agreed?

_Yeah, agreed._

Splendid: If she has a lot of fears, why can't she have protected gear like a bulletproof vest and a taser, or maybe I should be her bodyguard.

_That won't work, dumbass._

Splendid: Why not?

_Because Flaky is scared of you, dumbass. She knows you don't save people successfully. Anyway, let's get back to the fanfic._

_Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky were playing a board game of Regret (A parody of Sorry), it was Cuddles' turn._

Cuddles: Okay, (Picks up a card, card says "Regret".) I regret to do this to you, Ed!

Ed: Oh, come on!

[Cuddles knocks Ed's pawn back to start using his pawn.]

Ed: Aw well, just a game. My turn.

[Ed picks up a card, card says "one".]

Ed: Yay, I get to move out from start. (Moves his pawn from start.)

Cuddles: Okay, Flaky! Your turn.

Flaky: O-okay! (Tries to pick up a card, suddenly she's glowing, scared.) Ahh! What's happening?

Ed: I don't know!

[Flaky is worried, she just suddenly vanished.]

Cuddles: What? Okay, how is this even possible?

Ed: I don't know. We should go ask Sniffles, see if he knows.

Cuddles: Yeah, the nerd will help us!

[Flaky's mom comes in.]

Flaky's mom: Kids, I brought some milk and cooki-

[Flaky's mom stands there, wondering where Flaky is.]

Flaky's mom: Umm... Where's Flaky?

Ed: (Worried) Oh... Um... You see...

Cuddles: (Worried) We're playing hide and seek.

Flaky's mom: But it looks to me like you're playing a board game.

Ed: It's a new type of hide and seek. Okay, Cuddles. Let's go look for Flaky outside. (Winks at Cuddles.)

Cuddles: Oh, yep. She must be hiding in the shed.

Flaky's mom: But it's raining outside.

Ed: Rain never hurt anyone.

[Ed and Cuddles leaves, Flaky's mom wonders.]

Flaky's mom: This doesn't sound like Flaky, she's too scared to go in the shed.

(At Sniffles' house.)

[Sniffles is building a doorway to anywhere anybody wants while Flippy and Boony are playing checkers, Boony gets a piece in the end of Flippy's side.]

Boony: King me.

[Flippy begans to flip out, his eyes gone blood-shot, Boony slaps Flippy.]

Boony: Snap out of it, Flippy!

Flippy: Huh? Oh, sorry. The PTSD was starting to kick in again, did I killed anybody?

Boony: No.

Flippy: (Relieved) Oh, thank god. Hey, Sniffles. Is that machine ready yet?

[Sniffles is still working on his project.]

Sniffles: Almost... (Finish putting in the last piece.) There!

[Boony and Flippy walks up to Sniffles and his machine which looks like an ordinary doorway with a computer on it.]

Sniffles: I give you... The Gateway!

Boony and Flippy: (Amazed) Wooow!

[Someone knocks on the door, Sniffles walks up to the door to answer it, Sniffles opens the door, it's Ed and Cuddles.]

Sniffles: Salutations, fellow visitors.

[Ed and Cuddles are dripping wet from the rain.]

Ed: Can we come in to dry off?

Sniffles: Sure, just let me get some large cloths.

[Ed and Cuddles comes in.]

Cuddles: Thanks!

[Ed and Cuddles walks up to Boony and Flippy.]

Ed: Hi, Boony and Flippy.

Cuddles: (To Flippy and Boony) What's going on, you two?

Flippy: We were playing checkers while Sniffles was building a machine to take anyone anywhere.

Boony: And Sniffles wanted us to see it.

[Sniffles come back with some towels.]

Sniffles: Absolutely! I call it, the Gateway.

Ed and Cuddles: (Amazed) Wooow!

Ed: Anyway. I wonder what happened to Flaky. Sniffles, do you know?

Cuddles: Yeah, she was all bright and then she vanish in thin air.

Sniffles: Strange, usually that sound illogical. But I think I know what happen to her. Follow me!

[Ed and Cuddles follows Sniffles to the machine.]

Sniffles: She didn't vanish. She... Was teleported!

[Ed and Cuddles has their mouths opened.]

Ed: Flaky was teleported? Where?

Sniffles: Let's have the machine answer that.

[Sniffles turns on the machine, it loads up in 30 seconds, loads successfully, Sniffles types in "Flaky the Porcupine".]

(Moments later.)

[Finds one result.]

Sniffles: I have found Flaky!

Ed: Really?

Cuddles: Where is she?

Sniffles: How do I put this... She's in the center of the Earth.

Ed: (Pauses) Huh?

Sniffles: (Slowly) The fiery world for one who commits sin?

Cuddles: (To Ed) Do you know what he's talking about?

Ed: Nope!

[Sniffles gets pissed because of Ed and Cuddles' ignorance.]

Sniffles: (Loudly) HELL, YOU IDIOTS! (Normal) She's in hell!

Ed and Cuddles: Ooooohhhh!

[Cuddles has his eyes open widely.]

Cuddles: (Snaps) Flaky can't survive there! She's gonna be scared to death! (Loudly) WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!

[Ed slaps Cuddles.]

Ed: Calm down! I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We'll go straight to hell, find Flaky, and come back.

Cuddles: But I don't wanna go to hell!

Ed: C'mon, Cuddles. It's gonna be our next adventure. Besides, I said we will come back. Hey, Boony! You in?

Boony: Yeah! I always wanna go on an adventure to save someone.

Ed: What about you, Flippy?

Flippy: What you call hell, I call home. And I don't wanna go home yet! Sorry, Edward, maybe next time.

Ed: Aw! Oh well, he'll might kill all of us in our adventure. Hey, Cuddles! (Gives Cuddles his axe.)

Cuddles: You axe! Are you sure?

Ed: Come on, Cuddles! I'm letting you borrow this.

Cuddles: Ed's axe! I always wanted his axe! Okay! I'll borrow it!

Boony: Okay, Sniffles! Set the machine to hell.

[Sniffles switches the Gateway from "Search" to "Activate Doorway".]-

Sniffles: Good luck, gentlemen!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Boony walks through the doorway to hell,]

Cuddles: Ya know? Flippy is a good guy sometimes.

Ed: I thank so, too. After all, he is a war (Looks forward.) heroooo-oly crap!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Boony looks what hell really looks like, a Tree Friend is in chains while a demon with a whip keeps whipping him, three more Tree Friends are tied up in a roller that a skeleton turning, and three more demons armed with hell-tritons are torturing a Tree Friend who is tied up by boiling him.]

Ed: I don't wanna end up in here.

Cuddles: I agree. The prices must be higher in hell.

Boony: Come on, guys! Let's go save Flaky!

[Boony starts moving, Ed and Cuddles follows Boony.]

Cuddles: Wow, look at all the torture.

Ed: (Agreeing with Cuddles) Makes you not wanna do bad things.

[While the gang is walking to find Flaky, they see a sorceress cat.]

Sorceress cat: I don't have enough power to defeat my evil twin sister.

[The gang walks up to the sorceress cat.]

Boony: Well, it's rare to see a nice lady like yourself not being tortured to death here.

Sorceress cat: Why, thank you.

Ed: So, what brings you to this bad place?

Sorceress cat: Well, I was here because I commit witchcraft.

Cuddles: I didn't even know that witchcraft is bad.

Sorceress cat: Me either. I just use magic for good.

Boony: And yet, here you are.

Sorceress cat: I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Jozie the sorceress.

Ed: I am Edward, but friends call me Ed. (Points to Cuddles) This is Cuddles, (Points to Bonny) and this is Boony.

Boony: We're on a quest to find our friend, Flaky.

Ed: For all we know, she must be terrified right about now.

(At the Diclonius cat's lair.)

[The diclonius cat is watching Ed, Cuddles, Boony, and Jozie on a magic ball.]

Diclonius cat: So, Jozie. You want to help the pesky kids on a quest to save a porcupine, eh?

[Flaky appears chained up.]

Flaky: (Scared) P-p-p-please d-d-don't!

Diclonius cat: Shut up! (Slaps Flaky)

Flaky: (Crying) Why?

Diclonius cat: Because I'm evil, that's why! (Evil laughter) I'll just send in some "escorts" to take good "care" of them. (Pushes a red button next to the intercom, speaks to the intercom.) My minions!

(At the minions' lounge.)

[10 demons appear, 7 of them watching TV while 3 are drinking hot mug of mud.]

Demon Captain: Yes, your evilness.

Diclonius cat: (Showing him the picture on TV.) I want you to capture my real target! My sister, Jozie, is leading a bunch of mortals to destroy me.

Demon Captain: What should I do about the others?

(Back to diclonius cat's lair.)

Diclonius cat: Kill the others, you idiot! And don't mess up like your previous captain.

[A dead demon captain appears.]

(Back at the minion's lounge.)

Diclonius cat: Now get moving.

[The demons leave to find Ed, Cuddles, Boony, and Jozie.]

(Back at Ed and the gang.)

[Jozie sense something.]

Jozie: Stop, guys!

[The guys stops.]

Boony; What's wrong?

Jozie: I sense danger's coming.

Ed: What is it?

Jozie: (Pauses) My evil twin sister, Josie!

[Jozie points to the middle of nowhere which turns up to have Josie's demon armed with hell-tritons, the demons appeared.]

Demon Captain: We are here to kidnap the sorceress, and to kill all of you! Give up, and I promise to make your deaths quick and painless.

Ed: Well if you want her so bad...

[Ed, Boony, and Cuddles takes out their weapons.]

Boony: It's gonna be slow and horrible!

Demon Captain: Very well, then. Attack them, then capture Jozie!

[The 10 demons charges against Ed, Boony, Cuddles, and Jozie, the boys goes into battle position while Jozie is charging up for her most powerful attack (the pwn-zone), Cuddles throws Ed's axe he loans at Demon #1, hits Demon #1 in the chest, blood comes out of Demon #1's axe-wound and mouth.]

Cuddles: (Pulls the rope from the axe) Get over here!

[The rope of the axe made Demon #1 move to Cuddles, Cuddles trip-kicks Demon #1, Demon #1 gets back up, Cuddles jumps up and uppercuts demon #1. Demon #2 and #3 charges at Ed, Ed shoots his sword at Demon #3 which made his head explode, gallons of blood gushing from Demon #3's head while he screams in pain, Demons #2 charges at Ed, swings his hell-fork at Ed horizonally, Ed blocks and swing his sword at Demon #2 diagonally, Demon #3 blocks and thrust at Ed, Ed blocks and swings vertically, Demon #3 blocks and both repeats moves. Demons #4 and #5 charges at Boony, Demon #4 swings his hell-fork at Boony diagonally, Boony blocks and swings his machete at Demon #4 vertically, Demon #4 blocks, Demon #5 swings his hell-sword at Boony, Boony blocks and thrust at Demon #5, Boony and Demons #4 and #5 repeats the same moves. Cuddles blocks Demon #1's attack and chops Demon #1's head in two, blood comes out of the chopped head, Demon #6 comes in with a hell-sword and thrust at Cuddles, Cuddles counterattacks by swinging at Demons #6's chest, blood comes out of his axe wound, Demon #6 swings at Cuddles horizonally, Cuddles blocks and swing at Demon #6 vertically, Demon #6 blocks and swings at Cuddles vertically, Cuddles blocks and swings at Demon #6 diagonally, Demon #6 blocks and thrusts at Cuddles, Cuddles blocks and swings at Demon #6 horizonally, Demon #6 block and they both repeats the same moves. Ed and Boony keeps fighting Demons #2, #4, and #5 while they get closer to each other, Ed and Boony goes back to back and looks at each other.]

Ed: Okay, Boony. Let's do it!

Boony: (To Ed) I got you back, man!

[Ed and Boony points their weapons forward and locks arms on each other to perform the Tornado Spin-Attack.]

Ed and Boony: (Loudly) TORNADO SPIN-ATTACK!

[Ed and Boony spins at 3600° while keeping their arms locked and their weapons pointing in front of them. Afterwards, they get dizzy and Ed vomits.]

Ed: Uh... That... Was... Awesome!

[Ed and Boony watches Demons #2, #4, and #5 stands still as half their bodies slides off from the other half, Ed and Boony high fives each other.]

Ed: And this is how we did it, booooooooooooyyyyy!

Boony: Now I'm having fun! Come on, I can do this all day!

Jozie: No time!

The boys: (Looks at Jozie) Huh?

[Jozie is glowing because she is powered up and ready.]

Jozie: I'm about to perform my most powerful magic! PWN-ZONE!

[A wave of energy comes out of Jozie, vaporizing all the demons they were fighting.]

Jozie: That took care of the demons.

Ed: (Pauses)...What? That wasn't fighting!

Cuddles: Yeah, we were just getting started!

A voice: Hope you guys are...

Cuddles: Do you guys heard that?

[The boys looks around.]

A voice: Because (Appears) the fight's just getting started like the bunny started.

Jozie: (Gasp!) It's my evil twin sister! Josie!

Josie: That's right, sis! And now you will all die except you, Jozie! You will join me and we will rule the world as sisters!

Jozie: I will never join you!

[Josie uses her telekinetic power to choke Jozie.]

Josie: You will join me or you will die! Your choice!

Jozie: (Choking) I would rather die then to join you.

Josie: How unwise.

[Josie uses her telekinesis to move Jozie to near the river of lava.]

Josie: Any last words?

[Jozie struggles while Ed charges at Josie, Ed tackles Josie, in result Josie stops choking Jozie which made Jozie uses her magic to avoid the lava by floating.]

Ed: You leave her alone! That's your sister, why would you do that?

Josie: Because I'm evil. Thats also why I kidnaped the cowardly red porcupine.

Ed: (Gasp!) How do you know about Flaky?

Josie: It was an accident. I really want to capture Jozie, but my idiot demon captain capture the wrong target.

[Flaky which is still in chains appears.]

Flaky: P-p-p-please d-d-don't hurt my f-f-f-f-f-friends.

[Josie slaps Flaky, Flaky cries.]

Ed: You leave Flaky alone!

Josie: Or what? Fight me?

Ed: You know what, that's what I'm gonna do.

[Ed takes off his helmet, preparing for battle.]

Josie: You are a fool trying to fight me.

Ed: We'll see about that!

[Ed charges at Josie, Josie uses her telekinesis to throw Ed against the wall, Ed gets back up from the ground and wipes the blood from his lip.]

Ed: Is that all you got?

Josie: Yes! But it's more then what you got, bitch!

[Josie evil laughs as she uses her telekinesis on Ed, she force Ed punching himself in the face by controlling his arm and hand.]

Josie: (As she keeps making Ed punching himself.) Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Why are you hitting yourself?

[Josie stops, Ed appears to have a black-eye, blood coming out of his nose, Ed coughs up blood.]

Josie: (Evil laughs) Oh, come on. Get up. I haven't even begun to fight. (Looks at Ed's sword.) Oh, what's this?

[Josie controls Ed's arm again, this time she made him takes Ed's sword out, Josie take a look at his sword.]

Josie: Remarkable craftsmanship! A little sharp for a kid, though. You shouldn't run with this in your hand, you'll might (Loudly) STICK THIS YOUR BELLY!

[Josie controls Ed's arm to make him stab himself in the stomach, a sword in body sound appears as Ed closes his eyes, Ed takes a peak and then sees with both of his eyes that the point of his sword only touched him, he can now control his own arm. Josie looks at Ed then looks at her stomach, Boony appears and has his machete in her stomach, blood comes out of her stomach and mouth.]

Boony: (To Josie) I kinda agree with you, but you got one part wrong, it's not Ed's belly...

Josie: (Looks at Boony) What?

Boony: It's yours.

[Boony cuts Josie almost in half by moving his machete fast from where he put his machete in her, to the top of her head, a lot of blood comes out of her as Boony keeps cutting. In result Josie is now permanently dead.]

Boony: (Pauses) ...What just happened?

Ed: Boony, I can't believe, you! You've killed someone.

Boony: I did?

[Boony looks at dead body, then looks at his blood-stain machete.]

Boony: What have I done? (Drops machete) I killed someone.

Ed: Boony?

Boony: And now, I'm gonna end up here.

[Ed walks up to Boony.]

Ed: Hey now, you saved my life. At least some good come out of this.

Boony: Really? I won't end up here?

Ed: As long as you don't kill for fun.

[Boony picks up his machete and puts it back up.]

Boony: Thanks, Ed.

Flaky: (Still in chains.) Um, p-p-please help m-me?

_And so, Ed and Cuddles helps out Flaky, then the gang say goodbye to Jozie while they go back to their universe, Cuddles gives Ed back his axe, and Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky continues their board game of Regrets._

Splendid: The first death in the series that's actually permanent.

_Or is it?_

Splendid: What?

_Who knows? Maybe she'll come back as a ghost. Everyone has their opinion or theory on something._

Splendid: I guess you're right.

_More right than you, a**hole! Ha ha! See you readers next time._

**Moral of the Story: Never let your friends down.**

**Next Chapter: Lumpy becomes smarter by eating some cheese filled with pills.**


	10. Chapter 9: That's Sick!

**Chapter 9: That's Sick!**

**Starring: Edward, Lammy, and Giggles.**

**Featuring: Lumpy, and Truffles.**

_Well, well! The Generic Tree Ninjas never give up, do they?_

Splendid: So what? My evil counterpart Splendont (Simular appearances to Splendid, except is red and wears a blue mask.) never gives up.

_Yeah, but Ed's not fighting Splendont, he's fighting Generic Tree Ninjas, about 4 in total, while Lumpy, as usual, watches him. But this time, Lumpy got a cold._

Splendid: Then why is he out of bed?

_Because he's a moron, ya moron!_

Splendid: Don't call me a moron, you son of a bitch!

_Shut up before I get the kryptonut again! Anyway, Ed's already in a middle in a fight with these ninjas, let's see if he's he's winning._

[Ed high kicks GTN #1 in the face, GTN #1 blocks and jabs Ed in the chest, Ed counterattacks by jabbing him in the face. GTN #1 knocked out. GTN #2 and #3 charges at Ed, GTN #3 jabs Ed in the head, Ed blocks and GTN #2 low kicks Ed in the torso, Ed blocks and uppercuts GTN #2. GTN #2 knocked out. GTN #3 jabs/cross combo Ed in the face 3 times, Ed blocks every punch and roundhouse kicks GTN #3, then jab/cross combo GTN #3 in the torso 3 times, trip kicks GTN #3. GTN #3 is knocked out.]

Ed: (To GTN #4) You guys can't touch me. What's the point of fighting me, anyway? You guys are gonna get beaten by me anyway.

GTN #4: (Angrily) Shut up, pathetic human!

Ed: Look who's talking, you can't even beat me!

[GTN #4 yells in anger and charges at Ed, GTN #4 run jabs at Ed, Ed blocks and jab/crosses combo at GTN #4 in the face 8 times, grabs GTN #4 and throws him at the other side of Ed. GTN #4 knocked out. Lumpy walks up to Ed while he claps.]

Lumpy: Yay! Woo-hoo (Coughs).

Ed: Lumpy, are you okay?

Lumpy: Yep, I'm okay Ed. (Sniffs)

Ed: (Wondering) Um... Okay! As long as you're okay.

Lumpy: Thanks, E- (Abouts to sneeze.) E-, Ah-choo!

[Lumpy sneezes on Ed.]

Ed: Gasutite, buddy.

[Lumpy has mucus coming out of his nose, sniffs it back up and wipes his nose with the back of his hand and forearm.]

Lumpy: That's better. (Sniffs) Thank you.

Ed: (Slowly) Rrrrriiiiight. Well, see you later, I have to go to school.

[Ed leaves.]

Lumpy: Okey-dokey, see you later, alligator. (Sniffs then sneezes.)

(At Happy Tree Elementary)

[Truffles explains about colds and flus while the class (Except Sniffles) gets bored and sleeps, Ed looks at the clock which is 9:43 AM.]

Ed: (In his head) Oh, come on. End already! I can't take school anymore! If only their were a way to get out for a day? Man I feel strange, why is my nose is full?

[Ed sneezes, mucus comes out of his nose.]

Truffles: Edward! Are you sick?

Ed: What if I am? (Sniffs)

Truffles: Oh my god, you are sick. Go to the nurse's office.

Ed: You mean, I can leave class?

Truffles: That's right, I don't want anyone else sick

(In the hallways.)

[Ed dances happily to the nurse's office.]

Ed: (Happily) Yes! No class! Yaaaay! Maybe no school, either! That's even better!

[Ed went in the door of the nurse's office, sits in the waiting room.]

Ed: This is the best day of my life! (Sniffs)

[Giggles comes in as the nurse's aid.]

Ed: Giggles? Are you sick too?

Giggles: No, I'm just doing this so I can be a nurse in the future, and to get out of class.

Ed: Cool! (Sniffs) Um... Where is the nurse?

Giggles: She's on her break, so I have to call her that you have arrived.

Ed: Okay! (Sniffs)

[Giggles wents back in and gets on the phone with the nurse.]

Giggles: Hello Ms... Yeah I know you're on your lunch break, but a student just came in and has a running nose, what should I do? (Pause) Uh-huh... Okay... Alright, I'll tell him, bye.

[Giggles hangs up and goes back to the waiting room.]

Giggles: You get to go home, Ed.

Ed: (Loudly) YAAAAAAAY! NO SCHO- (Coughs)

Giggles: But you'll have to wait until the nurse comes back to drive you home.

Ed: Awwwww! Can't I just walk back home? (Sniffs)

Giggles: I wish we can can all do that when we get sick, but we could all get other people sick.

(Later, At Ed's house.)

[Ed's on the couch playing Grand Theft Flippy.]

Ed: (Sniffs) Ahhh, no school. (Blows nose with a tissue.)

[Someone knocks on the door.]

Ed: Coming (Sniffs)

[Ed answers the door, it's Giggles.]

Giggles: Hey, Ed. How you feeling?

Ed: Oh. Hi Giggles! (Sniffs) I'm feeling a little better. (Sniffs)

Giggles: Well you shouldn't be out of bed, mister! (Grabs Ed's arm and pulls him.) Come on, we're going to your room.

Ed: Huh? (Sniffs)

(At Ed's room.)

[Ed is in bed without his helmet and has a thermometer in his mouth while Giggles tucks Ed in.]

Giggles: Now I don't want you to get out of bed until you're well.

[Ed sniffs as Giggles hugs Ed.]

Ed: (In his head.) What the hell is this? Just get me back to playing video games! I just hope my good day don't turned bad.

Giggles: Someone very special to you I coming up to your room to bring you something you need.

Ed: (In his head) Well, whoever he is, I hope he has a GameTree 64. (A parody of Nintendo DS.)

[Lammy walks in with a cup of soup.]

Ed: (In his head.) Now my day just turned bad.

[Lammy walks up to Ed.]

Lammy: Hey, Edward! I heard you're sick, so me and Mr. Pickles will stay in your room until you get better.

[Lammy gives Ed the soup while she holds Ed's hand, Ed pulls his hand to let go, Lammy holds Ed's hand again.]

Lammy: Whoops, (Laughter) you let go of my hand.

Ed: (To Lammy) Can you bring me something like you go get a real boyfriend, (Sniffs) because I'm not your boyfriend?

Lammy: Ah ha ha ha, Baa-a-a-ah, Baa-a-a-ah! Quit joking, silly. You are a funny boy! I'd kiss you again, but I don't want to get sick.

Ed: (Silently) And a good thing, too. (Sniffs)

Lammy: I'll go back to the kitchen to make you a cheese omelet.

Ed: (Open his eyes widely) Actually, (Sniffs) that does sound good.

Lammy: (As she leaves) Then you'll love it when I put my wool hair in there.

[Ed vomits into his mouth, holds his mouth to avoid his puke on the bed.]

Ed: (While he has vomit in his mouth.) Um, Giggles can you give me a trash can?

[Giggles gives him a trash bin right by his desk with a computer on top, Ed spits out the vomit in the trash bin.]

Giggles: Aww, does our hero have a tummy-ache?

Ed: Yep, (Sniffs) I have a tummy-ache, I can eat the omelet. I guess you'll have to eat it. (Sniffs)

Giggles: I'm not eating her hair, (About to leave.) I'll just tell her (Lammy) to put it in your kitchen fridge.

[Giggles leaves the room, walks into the kitchen were Lammy's at, Lammy's cooking an omelet on Ed's stove, yanks 5 strings of hair and puts it in the omelet, Giggles walks up to Lammy.]

Giggles: Lammy, that's disgusting.

Lammy: Bu- but Edward says it's a good idea.

Giggles: I don't think he means by putting your hair in it.

Lammy: But if he eats my hair, he will always have me anytime even when I'm not around.

Giggles: Well, Ed's has a tummy-ache, he can't eat it.

[Lammy turns off the stove.]

Lammy: Oh, poor Eddy-Bear. Don't worry, (Walks up to the cabinets.) I'll find some carbonated pop to make him feel better.

[Giggles notices that Mr. Pickles is not with her.]

Giggles: Um, where's Mr. Pickles?

Lammy: (While finding some soda for Ed.) Oh, he's still in Edward's room.

Giggles: (Wondering) Why?

Lammy: So he can keep Edward company.

[Giggles facepalms.]

(At Ed's room.)

[Ed was about to get out of bed.]

Ed: Now that the girls are in the kitchen, (Sniffs) I have a chance to escape from the window. (Coughs) All I gotta do is to get up from bed and...

[Ed sees the pickle on the floor.]

Ed: Oh-ho ho ho, the evil pickle again. (Sniffs) I'd squash you with my foot, but I don't wanna make a mess on my floor. (Sniffs twice) But if Lammy sees you get squashed...

[Ed gets up out of bed to stomp on the pickle, as he raises his foot from the ground, Mr. Pickles transforms and raises his sharp-end cane, Ed tries to stomps on him, but he stepped on Mr. Pickles cane instead, Ed feels pain in the bottom of his foot, it felt like a big nail in his foot.]

Ed: (Eyes widely opened, hold bottom of foot afterwards.) OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

(Back at the kitchen)

[Giggles and Lammy just heard Ed.]

Lammy: Baah? Was that, Edward? He sounds hurt!

Giggles: Ridiculous, he's in bed! He's safe! Let's just go back to...

[Lammy goes to Ed's bathroom to find a first aid kit.]

Giggles: Where are you going?

[Lammy opens the sink counter.]

Lammy: I gotta save my Eddy-bear.

(Back at Ed's room.)

[Ed is still holding his foot from where Mr. Pickles' cane is in, takes the cane out, blood is leaking out from the bottom of Ed's foot, Ed stands up on his two feet, looks at Mr. Pickles.]

Ed: You again?

[Mr. Pickles bows like a gentleman, Ed sniffs three times slowly and then coughs.]

Ed: (To Mr. Pickles) Look, you rotten thing! I got enough problems without you in it! But if you wanna warriors death, I'm more than happy to give it to...

[Mr. Pickles grabs his cane and stabs Ed in the bone part of his lower leg.]

Ed: Oww, oww-woww!

[Ed holds his leg from where Mr. Pickles stab it, blood comes out from Ed's leg, Mr. Pickles gets on top of Ed's torso and tries to stab Ed in the heart, Ed jabs Mr. Pickles in the right side, Mr. Pickles rams right in to the wall next to the window.]

Ed: Aww man. I missed. (Gets back up.) Oh well, I'll just open the window and then...

[Mr. Pickles charges at Ed out of nowhere, knocks down Ed, Ed falls down and struggles to get back up.]

Ed: (Keeps Struggling) Get off of me... (Struggles) You, crazy monster!

[Mr. Pickles ignores Ed by stabbing Ed in the arm, blood leaks out from Ed's arm.]

Ed: Oww! (Hold arm.) You bastard! I'll kill you!

[Ed grabs Mr. Pickles, Mr. Pickles stabs Ed's hand using his cane, Ed lets go of Mr. Pickles.]

Ed: (Holds hand) Oww!

[Ed checks his hand, his hand is bleeding a little bit, Ed picks up Mr. Pickles and tries to throws him.]

Ed: Let's see if I can't miss the window.

[Mr. Pickles stabs Ed's paw of his hand, Ed lets go of Mr. Pickles.]

Ed: (Painfully) Ahh!

[Ed's hand didn't bleed, but it still hurts, Mr. Pickles pushes Ed down on the ground, gets on Ed's torso.]

Ed: (To Mr. Pickles) I freaking hate you!

[Mr. Pickles walks up to Ed's arm to stab it, as he stabs, a bit of blood comes out.]

Ed: (Painfully) Ahh! Oww! Oww!

[Lammy walks in with a first aid kit.]

Lammy: Don't worry, Eddy-bear. I'm going to help you...

[Lammy looks at Mr. Pickles stabbing Ed.]

Lammy: (Gasp!) No! No! Bad pickle! (Picks up Mr. Pickles) Now you say you're sorry to your future dad.

Ed: (Gets back up) Thanks for getting that psychopathic... (Pauses) Say what?

Lammy: Mr. Pickles is going to be your son one day, Edward. Or maybe we might have 20 more kids together, you and me.

[Ed twitches his eye while Lammy patches Ed up with band-aids and ointment.]

Lammy: We will marry one day, then have kids, then grow old together to see our kids have their kids.

[Giggles comes in.]

Giggles: Lammy, why did you go through Ed's stu... Holy crap, Ed is hurt.

[Giggles walks up to Ed to rub his face with the back of her hand, Ed's eye is still twitching from what Lammy said.]

Giggles: (Silently) There, there. You're going to be okay.

[Giggles now realized that Ed is not sneezing or having a running nose.]

Giggles: Ed! You're not sick anymore!

[Ed gets back up.]

Ed: I'm not?

Giggles: Nope! You're cure!

[Ed and Giggles cheers while Lammy puts on lip stick.]

Lammy: Edward!

[Ed and Giggles stops cheering, Ed looks at Lammy.]

Ed: (In his head) Oh no!

Lammy: Before me and Giggles go...

[Lammy kisses Ed in the lips, Ed's pupils shatters.]

Lammy: So, what do you think?

[Ed's doesn't respond, stands there while his pupilless eye twitches]

Giggles: I guess he likes it.

Lammy: (To Ed) Okay, we better go. Bye, Eddy-bear! (Giggles)

[The girls leaves and then Ed vomits like Brian Griffin from his second kiss.]

Ed: (Heavy Breathes, Loudly) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS! IT'S DISGUSTING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_And so, Ed becomes better but feels worse again because Lammy kissed Ed in the lips, and Ed did not like it one bit. _

[Splendid laughs his ass off.]

_Uh, why are you laughing?_

Splendid: Um, nothing. It's just what Lammy said about her and Ed! [Laughs harder] She will marry him one day, then have kids, then they will grow old together and I will laugh at him.

_That's not funny, Lammy stalks Ed. What happens if a girl stalks you?_

Splendid: Meh.

_How about Splendont?_

[Splendont appears.]

Splendont: Hello, Splendid!

[Narrator and Splendid looks at Splendont with their eyes and mouth open.]

Splendont: See you around, readers! (Laughs evily)

**Moral of the Story: Get plenty of sleep when your sick.**

**Next Chapter: Ed gets a restraining order from Lammy.**


	11. Chapter 10: South American Idol

**Chapter 10: South American Idol**

**Starring: Edward, Cuddles, and Flaky.**

**Featuring: Sniffles, Russell, Coral, and Giggles.**

_A hot day in Happy TreeVille, everyone's finding a way to cool off..._

[Splendid and Splendont are fighting each other, makes messes.]

Splendid: (To Splendont) You get out of here, loser!

Spendont: (To Splendid) Maybe I wanna help out on the narration, you damn fool!

_Pipe down, you two! Anyway, it's 96°F outside in the shade, Nutty tried to eat some ice cream, but it all melted and he goes insane. Pop was watching his son Cub play in the sprinkler, but Pop goes inside the house to cool off and watch TV and Cub tripped on the hose, landing on the sprinkler killing Cub, (That's right, even in this series Cub dies due to Pop's bad parenting!) the sprinkler sprinkles Cubs blood in the lawn. And our hero, Ed is in an epic fight with the heat, by cooling off in the beach with Cuddles and Coral._

[Ed walks backwards from the beach, charges to do a flying kick.]

Ed: Get ready, heat! I will defeat you!

[Ed does a flying kick, lands in the water.]

Ed: I have defeated the heat.

[Ed, Cuddles, and Coral laughs in joy.]

Cuddles: (To Ed.) Ha! That was a good idea to take us on a nice, cool swim.

Ed: I just figure that we might have a chance to see Coral again, it's been a long time since we've seen her.

Coral: I know, (Giggle) it's been so long.

Ed: That's right. It's so hot outside that we couldn't stand it.

Cuddles: And now, here we are, enjoying the nice water in the beach.

[Wave comes in.]

Ed: Look, guys! Waves! I wonder if we can cool down quicker from it.

Cuddles: Only one way to find out!

[Wave comes in and heads to Ed, Cuddles, and Coral. The trio stays so the wave can drown them, afterwards they swim back up uninjured and in joy.]

Cuddles: Whoo! That was fun!

Ed: Yeah! Incredible! (Laughs) Boy, I'm thirsty. Cuddles, you're thirsty?

Cuddles: Am I ever!

[Ed gets out of the water when suddenly Ed's swim trunks floats next to Coral.]

Coral: (Grabs trunks, shows Cuddles) Do you think he'll notice?

Cuddles: (Looks at Ed's trunks.) Nah, he's probably fine without it.

(At the sand of the beach.)

[Ed was naked and doesn't realize it, walks to the snack bar then he sees Giggles making a sand castle, walks up to Giggles.]

Ed: Hey, Giggles. You want something to drink?

Giggles: Nope, I'm goo... (Looks at Ed's front tail, screams.)

[Ed looks down, notices that he's not wearing his trunks, hides his privates with his hands for a while, then he let's go of them while having pride.]

Ed: (With pride) Ah, I don't get what's the big deal, Giggles. (Leaves)

[Giggles was shocked on what she saw, grabs her pepper spray, then sprays it in her own eyes, screams painfully.]

Ed: (While walking) I wonder what pop Cuddles wants? Oh yeah, he loves drinking a lot of soda, like me kinda. (Trips on to something) Ow! (Looks at what he tripped on.) Huh?

[Ed sees what he tripped on, it is a bronze, aztec-looking idol.]

Ed: (Gasp!) What is that? Whatever it is, it's 1000 years old. I must show this to Cuddles!

[Ed runs back to the ocean of the beach to talk to Cuddles and Coral.]

(At the Ocean)

[Cuddles and Coral are playing splash fight, Ed swims up to them.]

Ed: Hey, guys! I found something new.

Cuddles: What? You're naked? (Laughs)

Ed: Oh, yeah.

[Ed laughs while Cuddles laughs.]

Coral: I don't get why Ed's laughing.

Ed: Anyway, I found something weird.

Cuddles: (Wonders) Could it be treasure?

Ed: I dunno, probably. (Heading for the idol) Come, I'll take you to it.

[Coral interrupts.]

Coral: Hold it! Forget something?

[Coral holds up Ed's trunks, Ed sees it.]

(Back at the sandy beach where the idol was.)

[Ed leads Cuddles to the idol while wearing his swim trunks, sees the idol.]

Ed: (Points at the idol) There it is!

[Ed and Cuddles walks up to the idol.]

Cuddles: Woooooow! We are rich! Just think Ed, we can buy anything...

[Ed sees arrows out of nowhere heading straight for Cuddles.]

Ed: (Gasp!) Cuddles! Look out!

[Cuddles looks at the arrows, Ed pushes Cuddles out of the arrows' way, the arrows passes leaving no one killed or injured.]

Ed: Whew! That was close.

[Cuddles sees a speeding car heading for Ed.]

Cuddles: (Loudly) Ed! Car coming!

[Ed takes the idol from the sand and gets out of the car's way by running up next to the

parking lot.]

Ed: That was too close! Mole was probably driving again!

Cuddles: No way, he couldn't have got into a car. They took his license and his car away from him.

Ed: Probably a drunk driver, then. This beach is getting dangerous, wanna go play in the park?

Cuddles: Okay, but first let's go buy something to drink at the vending machines.

[Ed and Cuddles leaves to the the park.]

(At the park.)

[Ed and Cuddles walks to the playground while Ed is wearing his helmet and street clothes and his is carrying the idol and Cuddles drinks some soda that he bought from the park's vending machine.]

Ed: Something strange is happening in the beach.

Cuddles: Yeah! (Sips on soda)

[Ed sees a wire that Cuddles might have a 100% chance of tripping on and landing into the electrical transformer where the opened fire hydrant is at, which is shooting the water at the transformer, making the transformer where it's really unsafe to be near.]

Ed: Cuddles! Hold up!

[Cuddles stops and looks at Ed.]

Ed: You almost tripped on that wire. Maybe it's not just the beach.

Cuddles: (Confused) What are you saying?

Ed: I'm saying that the whole town is acting, ya know, unsafe..

Cuddles: Huh. Maybe you're right. What do we do now?

Ed: Hmmmmmm... (Ding!) I got it, let's go see Sniffles, see if he knows something.

[Ed and Cuddles leaves to Sniffles' house. Lifty, Shifty, Drifty, and Catchy comes out of the bushes.]

Catchy: Did you guys see what I just saw?

Lifty: Yeah! A statue that's worth millions!

Catchy: Ah, hehehehe! Let's take it from those kids!

Lifty: No! Let's wait until they sleep, and then we can loot their entire house.

Drifty: I say let me blow their brains out, (Cocks M16 assault rifle with M870 shotgun below the barrel.) and then you guys can steal the statue. And then I will burn their bodies.

[Lifty and Catchy looks at Drifty in a surprising way.]

Drifty: What? Killing people is more fun than stealing and looting, at least they dead bodies won't call the cops on us. You should try it!

Shifty: I got a better idea! I say we follow them, then see if they'll ever drop that thing and lost it, we grab it, show it to those brats, then we sell it to a museum, and then loot everything their and go to another museum and sell everything there. We will become the richest crooks in the world!

Lifty: Great idea, Shifty!

Drifty: Imagine all the guns I could buy! I could even buy a tank or 3, maybe hire a gang of psychopathic murderers and arsonists like myself!

Catchy: (To Drifty) You could start a gang right now.

Drifty: Yeah, but I'll give 'em $300 per severed head. Plus every member in my gang will buy their own weapons with my money, I will even modify all their street clothes with bulletproof thread, and we will be unstoppable!

All four: Ah, hehehehehehe!

(At Sniffles' house.)

[Sniffles is working on a formula to cure all incurable diseases. His mom interrupts him.]

Sniffles' Mom: (Loudly) Sniffles, your friends are hear to see you. Why don't you come downstairs and play with them?

Sniffles: (Loudly) Because I'm working on a special type of medicine!

Sniffles' Mom: (Loudly) Look, young man! You're not wasting your childhood doing science stuff! You get down stairs!

[Sniffles puts his science stuff up and leaves his room, mumbles when he's going downstairs.]

Sniffles: (To Ed and Cuddles) Greetings, my friends! What brings you to my peaceful reside...

Sniffles' Mom: (Loudly) I don't hear you going out the door.

[Sniffles facepalms, get's irritated.]

Sniffles' Mom: If you don't go outside and play with your friends, you're grounded!

Ed: Cool! I got something to show you anyway!

Sniffles: (Silently) My mother just stayed home from work.

Ed: Huh, whadda ya know? Okay, come with us, Sniffles.

Cuddles: There's something we have to show you.

Sniffles: As long as I can get away from my dearest mother.

[Ed and Cuddles laughs at Sniffles misfortunes.]

Sniffles: Don't laugh, I bet you're mothers complains as much as she does.

Cuddles: I live with my war veteran uncle.

Ed: And I never even met my parents, I was raised by my Sensei.

Sniffles: (Sigh) And I thought you both live with your parents.

[Ed, Cuddles, and Sniffles leaves.]

Ed: You're kidding, right? I never even met another human!

(Outside)

Sniffles: Okay, so what's the object that I can admire?

[Cuddles points to the idol, Sniffles gets scared straight.]

Sniffles: (Screams) Do you know what that is?

Ed: Our ticket to big bucks?

Sniffles: No! This is the Cursed Idol, an ancient bust from South America!

Ed: I thought you are too smart to believe in curses.

Sniffles: No, Edward! I too believe in curses! Let's take it in my shed where my underground laboratory is!

(In Sniffles' secret lab.)

[Sniffles reads about the Cursed Idol on the computer while the idol is in the cage.]

Sniffles: The legend says whoever possesses the Cursed Idol will experience assassination by the spirits of doom unless he returns it from once it came from! Do you see what this means guys?

[Ed and Cuddles sleeps out of boredom.]

Sniffles: Uh, hello? (Sings) Hello?

[Sniffles shakes Ed and Cuddles to wake them up.]

Sniffles: (Loudly) WAKE UP, YOU IDIOTS!

[Ed and Cuddles wakes up from their quick nap.]

Ed: Huh? Oh hey, Sniffles.

Cuddles: Did you see our statue?

[Sniffles facepalms.]

Sniffles: (Silently) I'm surrounded by morons!

Ed: So, the statue. How much it's worth?

Sniffles: I highly recommanded that you take it back to where you guy's found it.

Cuddles: But... The beach became dangerous.

Sniffles: And do you know why?

[Ed and Cuddles doesn't respond, then shakes their head no.]

Sniffles: It's because of that idol! And the longer we are even near it, the less chance we will be able to survive.

[Ed and Cuddles were shocked, then they got 5 feet away from the idol.]

Cuddles: What are we gonna do?

Sniffles: Put it back where it came from, in South America. It may take days to get there by car...

[Ed gets serious.]

Sniffles: But I think I have enough money for gasoline and food, so we must first...

Ed: (Interrupts) Hold up! I got a better idea.

Sniffles: Wha... What?

Ed: We should get call up Rusty for a ship and sail by sea! A better adventure for all three of us!

Sniffles: Edward, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and I hang around with Lumpy sometimes. Besides, I'm not going!

Ed: You don't hafta come if you don't wanna.

Sniffles: Oh, okay! But I still recommand that I drive you there.

[Ed and Cuddles' about to leave to see Russell.]

Cuddles: No thanks, Sniffles.

Ed: (Grabs the caged idol) We wanna be on Rusty's ship, I never know what it looked like from the inside.

Cuddles: The ship has fine decor for a old ship.

[Ed and Cuddles walks up to the door leaving.]

Ed: Really? I never knew that!

(At the seaport.)

[Russell is fixing up his ship while Flaky's worried about sea travel.]

Flaky: Uh... Rusty? A-are you s-s-sure that t-t-this ship won't s-sink?

Russell: (Finishing up the sail, laughs.) Yargh argh argh argh argh! Flaky, me sea-lassie! She hasn't sink since 517 days an' nights!

[Ed and Cuddles walks up to Russell while they drag the caged idol with a wagon.]

Flaky: Oh. (Chuckles nervously.)

Ed: Ahoy, Rusty!

Russell: Ahoy, me laddies! What bring ye to the ol' pier?

[Ed shows Russell the idol, Russell was amazed.]

Russel: The cursed booty!

Cuddles: You know what it is?

Russell: Aye, lads! She's the one who sinks me father's ship an' stole both me legs, me eye, me hand, and me father's life.

Ed: Wait, I thought that it was an iceberg that sinked your dad's ship.

Russell: It did! But the booty was on the poop deck, it made the ship crash into the iceberg!

Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky: Whoa!

[Everyone pauses for a moment.]

Russell: Anyways, Flaky! Set sail to South America!

Ed: South America? That's where we're going!

Cuddles: Can we join?

Russell: Sure! The more maties, the merrier! But that idol must be overborad, first!

Ed: But, we have to go to South America to put it back where it came from!

Russell: Yargh right! I guess it can come! But it will have to be put in the brig!

Flaky: (Relieved) Please do it! I-I don't want to be c-c-c-cursed!

Ed: (Hugs Flaky) It'll be okay, Flaky!

[Ed stops hugging Flaky, her spikes gets into Ed's arm, bleeding.]

Ed: (Keeps Calm) Huh. I guess I'M not okay. (Inhales slowly, loudly) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL!

[Cuddles and Russell tries to help Ed while Flaky hides in a barrel.]

(A few minutes.)

[Ed has some medical tape around both of his arms.]

Cuddles: That's why you should never hug her like that! If you wanna hug her, don't wrap your arms around her.

Ed: Lesson learned, Cuddles!

[Russell gets on his ship.]

Russell: Yargh right! All aboard to South America!

Ed and Cuddles: (Loudly, high fives each other.) YEAH!

[Cuddles tries to high five Flaky.]

Flaky: Oh! (Nervous Laughs while lightly high fives Cuddles.)

Cuddles: (Cheerful) Yeah! Let's go!

[All three gets on Russell's ship.]

Russell: Raise the anchor!

[Cuddles raises the anchor.]

Russell: Set it to half sail!

[Ed sets the sail.]

Russell: And ship ahoy! A nice sailing adventure for the crew!

[Russell's ship sails away. The raccoons and Catchy appears.]

Lifty: Do you hear that? Those idiots are selling that statue!

Catchy: So what are we gonna do, now?

Drifty: (With a RPG7 Rocket Launcher, aims for Russell's ship.) I gotta idea! Hehehehe!

Shifty: (To Drifty) No, you idiot! I gotta better idea!

[Shifty points at Disco Bear's (A 48 year old male pedophile bear with a orange afro and wears '70s style clothes.) submarine. Disco bear dances like it's the 1970's.]

Disco Bear: Oh, yeah! Ah ha ha! Now to look for the foxy... Um... Merfox!

[Drifty comes in with a flamethrower.]

Drifty: No you're not!

Disco Bear: Huh?

[Drifty shoots his flamethrower at Disco Bear, Disco Bear is being lit on fire.]

Disco Bear: (Burning, loudly) EEYYYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

[Disco Bear dives into the water so he can put the fire out.]

Disco Bear: Ahhhh! Ooh yeah! Ha ha ha! Next time, stop flamin' and start chill...

[Catchy shot Disco Bear in the brains with a Colt .45 pistol, Disco Bear died.]

Catchy: Huh. Boy, you are right, Drifty. Killing people is fun!

[The gang gets in the submarine.]

Drifty: Hehehehe! Glad you like it, Catchy!

[All four are in the submarine.]

Lifty: Boy, there's sure are alot of '70s crap here.

(Day 3 on Russell's ship.)

[Ed and Russell fishes, Coral comes up.]

Coral: Hi, Ed! (Looks at Russell) And helloooooo, handsome!

Russell: Ahoy, Coral!

Ed: What's going on, Coral?

Coral: (Nervously) Nothing much! (Silently) I love you, Russell.

Russell: What?

Coral: (Nervously) Um... Nothing! Nothing at all! Just talking to myself.

Ed: Anyway, what brings you up surface?

Coral: I just saw a golden submarine, it looked like Disco Bear's, but Disco Bear isn't really in it!

Russell: Yargh?

Ed: Hmm... How can you know that?

Coral: I found this (Disco Bear's decapitated head.) near the pier.

[Ed, Flaky, and Russell are surprised and has there eyes widely opened.]

Ed: (Loudly) HOLY CRAP!

Russell: (Loudly) BARNICLES!

[Flaky screams and cries while she hugs Ed.]

Cuddles: (Pauses) Meh! Just some pedo who flirts with my girl, I don't care!

Ed: Man, the idol just got Disco Bear.

Cuddles: You sure?

Ed: I dunno, probably he got shot and tips his head off. Who knows?

Flaky: (Still hugging Ed) I... I d-d-don't wanna k-know! (Sniffs)

Ed (Too Flaky): There, there. It's gonna be alright! No one's gonna get you.

[Flaky stops hugging Ed, wipes her eyes with her arms.]

Flaky: Y-you s-s-sure?

Ed: Yep! And even if there's someone wants to get you, they have to get threw me, first.

Flaky: (Relieved) T-thanks Ed!

[Russell comes in with a spatula with a hand.]

Russell: Yargh! Ye maties hungry? I've cooked up some grub.

Ed: Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an octopus!

[Everyone looks at Ed.]

Ed: (Confused) What?

[Everyone doesn't respond.]

Ed: Just saying I'm starving.

Cuddles: Me too, I wonder what's for dinner.

[Everyone looks at Cuddles.]

Cuddles: (Confused) What? Did I said something bad?

Russell: Yargh, let's just go and eat before someone else shiver me timbers with more phrases.

Coral: Okay, bye!

[Ed, Russell, and Flaky goes in the ship while Cuddles' just standing there.]

Cuddles: Was it something I said?

[Coral swims still, Cuddles looks at Coral.]

Cuddles: You know, he won't ever love you unless you ask him out, you know.

(Day 7 in Russell's ship.)

[Weather is foggy, Cuddles, and Flaky are washing the deck while Ed navigates in the crow's nest, Ed spots the land.]

Ed: (Loudly, points to the land) LAAAANNNND HOOOOOO!

[Russell comes in.]

Russell: (Loudly) I don't see no land. Just the fog.

Ed: (Loudly) Come up, Rusty. You'll might see it!

[Russell climbs up the crow's nest, sees land.]

Russell; (Gasp!) Ye right, mate! (Loudly) LAAAAAANNNNND HOOOOOOO!

[Cuddles and Flaky walks up to the crow's nest.]

Cuddles: Ladies first.

Flaky: (Worried) I... I don't know if it's s-s-such a goo...

Cuddles: C'mon.

Flaky: (Worried) I don't e-even know h-h-how to c-c-climb.

Cuddles: It's easy.

[Fog clears up, Cuddles and Flaky sees land.]

Cuddles: (Amazed) Wooooow! So this is South America.

Flaky: (Relieved) Whew!

[The ship stops 30 yards from the beach, the anchor was lowered. Ed and Cuddles gets on the life boat with the idol.]

Russell: A captain's good luck to ye maties!

Ed: Thanks, Rusty!

Flaky: Yeah, good luck to you g-guys!

Russell: Flaky, ye going with these maties, too!

Flaky: (Worried) B-b-but... I d-d-d-don't wann...

[Russell pulls Flaky's hand to the boat.]

Russell: Ye be safe with Ed!

[Flaky gets in the boat with the boys.]

Russell: Now, to lower the boat. Good luck, maties!

[Russell lowered the boat, Cuddles grabs the oars and peddles to land.]

(At the beach.)

[Cuddles keeps peddling until the get to the beach, they spotted Disco Bear's submarine.]

Ed: (Points to the submarine.) Look, guys. Disco Bear's submarine.

[Flaky and Cuddles looks at the submarine.]

Flaky: (Worried) I... I hope m-m-m-monster isn't in t-t-t-there.

Cuddles: (To Flaky) Relax. There's nothing scary in there.

[Flaky is relieved to here what Cuddles said.]

Cuddles: Alright, get ready! We're almost there.

[Cuddles keeps rowing until the boat touches land, the boat touches land and gets off the boat.]

(Moments later in the jungle.)

[Ed uses his sword to cut the plants that are in the gangs way, Cuddles carries the rope which has the caged idol at the end, a PSG1 sniper rifle with a sound suppressor appears in the leaves of a tropical tree, Catchy's holding the sniper rifle.]

Catchy: (Aiming at Cuddles, silently) Heh heh heh! Say goodnight, forever! (Normal) Oop, forgot to turn on the laser.

[Catchy turns on the laser pointer of his rifle.]

Catchy: (Points rifle at Cuddles.) There we go!

(Back with Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky.)

[Ed keeps cutting plants dowm with his sword, Flaky sees the red dot on the back of Cuddles' head.]

Flaky: (Panics, loudly.) AH! CUDDLES! LOOK OUT!

Cuddles: (Turns around.) Huh?

[Flaky pushes Cuddles a half second before the sniper rifle was fired, no one was injured or killed, Ed turns around and sees the bullet hitting the ground.]

Ed: (Seriously) The idol is after us! Quick! Follow me!

[Ed runs and cuts plants down at the same time while Cuddles and Flaky follows, Catchy keeps shooting and missing at the kids four times, Catchy is now out of ammo.]

Catchy: (Pull trigger. Click! Click!.) Damn it!

Drifty: I told you to get a bigger clip, but you said five bullets are enough to kill all three!

Catchy: Whatever! Let's go get these little brats!

Drifty: Oh yeah! Triple homicide time!

Catchy and Drifty: Ah, he he he he he!

(Back with Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky.)

[Ed keeps running while Cuddles and Flaky follows Ed, they stopped to rest, panting.]

Ed: (Pants) Wow! (Pants) That was the longest I have ever run. (Pants)

Cuddles: (Pants) Me too! (Pants) But at least we lost them!

Flaky: (Pants, then Gasp, points to what she saw.) L-l-look!

[Ed and Cuddles looks where Flaky's pointing, it's an ancient Maya Pyramid.]

All three: (Amazed) Woooooow!

Ed: Man! I guess we have to put the idol on the top of the pyramid.

Cuddles: But it's a long way up there, so many steps to get to the top.

[Flaky saw something in the bushes, panics.]

Ed: I know, Cuddles. But we didn't gone all away here for nothing.

[Flaky runs up to Ed, tugs his shirt.]

Flaky: Um... Ed?

Ed: Not now, Flaky. Hmm... Wonder how long it take to...

[Flaky tugs Ed's shirt harder.]

Flaky: (Loudly) Ed!

[Ed got's Flaky's attention.]

Flaky: (Points to the bushes, shy like.) L-look!

[Ed sees the bushes, Catchy and Drifty comes out.]

Catchy: Surprise, losers!

Ed: You two again, I thought you guy will never show up, what are you here for anyway?

Drifty: We're here for that old statue you guys have!

Cuddles: (Grabs the cages idol.) You mean this?

Drifty: Yeah! (Pulls out his M9 pistol, points it at Cuddles.) Hand it over.

[Ed sees Drifty pointing his gun at Cuddles.]

Ed: (Gets angry) Don't you dare!

Drifty: Of course it's not for me, (Points gun at Ed.) It's for my brothers.

[Ed sees Drifty pointing his gun to him, Flaky screams and hides into the bushes.]

Ed: Don't do that!

Drifty: Do what? Oh, you mean shoot? Okay I'll just pull the trig...

[Ed runs up to Drifty, grabs his wrist, the results made Drifty drops his gun.]

Drifty: Let go of my...

[Ed punches Drifty in the stomach.]

Drifty: (Holds his stomach) Ooh-ho-ho, (Looks at Ed) You wanna death certificate? You got it!

[Drifty charges up to Ed, Punches Ed in the face, Ed falls down and get's back up, blood comes out of Ed.s mouth, Ed wipes the blood off his mouth and charges up to Drifty, Ed jabs and crosses Drifty's torso 3 times, Drifty blocks Ed's fourth punch and punches Ed in the face, more blood comes out of Ed's mouth, Drifty tries to kicks Ed in the stomach, but Ed blocks Drifty's kick and roundhouse kicks Drifty in the face, Drifty falls down as blood come out of his mouth.]

Cuddles: Go, Ed! Kick his ass!

Catchy: Shut up, ya stupid rabbit! (Pushes Cuddles)

Cuddles: (Angrily, loudly) NOBODY TELLS ME TO SHUT UP!

[Cuddles punches Catchy in the face, blood comes out of Catchy's mouth, Catchy picks up Cuddles and throws him in a tree, Catchy charges at Cuddles, Cuddles trip kicks Catchy, Catchy falls down, Cuddles stomps Catchy in the torso, Catchy gets back up and punches Cuddles in the face, blood comes out of Cuddles' mouth, Cuddles uppercuts Catchy which made him fly up and back down.]

(Back to Ed VS Drifty.)

[Drifty punches Ed in the face, Ed grabs Drifty's arm and tries to bend it.]

Drifty: (In pain) OOOOOOWWWWW!

[Drifty jabs and crosses Ed in the torso 5 times, Drifty front kicks Ed in the stomach, Ed dodges Drifty's kick and swings his fist in the back of Drifty's head, blood comes out of Drifty's nose and mouth, Drifty falls down, Drifty gets back up and punches Ed in the face, more blood comes out of Ed's mouth.]

(Back to Cuddles VS Catchy.)

[Cuddles charges up to Catchy to punch him, Catchy dodges and punches Cuddles in the chest, Cuddles falls down and gets back up, Cuddles charges up to Catchy to punch him, Catchy dodges, Cuddles turns around and roundhouse kicks Catchy in the side of his head, Cuddles jabs and crosses Catchy 5 times, Cuddles trip kicks Catchy, Catchy falls down, Cuddles tries to stomp Catchy, Catchy grabs Cuddles' foot and pushes it to the point Cuddles falls down.]

(Back to Ed VS Drifty, in the beach.)

[Ed punches Drifty in the face, results that Drifty gets a black eye, Ed trip kicks Drifty which made Drifty fall down, Drifty spotted a rock in the sand, picks up rock and throws it to Ed.]

Drifty: Think fast!

[Ed gets hit in the face by the rock, Ed falls down making Ed knocked out, Drifty walks up to Ed.]

Drifty: Well you can fight kid.

[Drifty drags Ed to the ocean.]

Drifty: Too bad that you're not a fish, but I can teach you how to "Breathe underwater", he he he he!

[Cuddles and Catchy fights their way into the beach, Catchy was thrown by Cuddles, Cuddles charges up to Catchy and picks him up getting ready to punch him, Cuddles spots Drifty dragging Ed to the ocean.]

Cuddles: Oh no! He's gonna drown Ed.

Catchy: (Chuckles) I told you Drifty will win.

Cuddles: Shut up! (Punches Catchy in the face.)

[Drifty arrives at the water and holds down Ed's head underwater, Ed awakes from being knocked out, struggles for air.]

Drifty: He he he he!

Cuddles: (To Drifty, loudly) GIVE HIM SOME AIR!

Drifty: But he needs to "Breathe in water".

Catchy: Game over, bunny boy!

Cuddles: I have enough of you!

[Cuddles lifts up Catchy and throws him.]

(Back in underwater.)

[Ed's still struggles for air, splashes so he can get back to the surface, Sensei Orangutan contacts Ed telepathiclly.]

Sensei: _Edward!_

Ed: _Sensei, is that you?_

Sensei: _Long time no see, huh? Anyway, in order for you to get back to service, you must summon thunder from your finger tips._

Ed: _But, I tried it like a thousand times and it never worked._

Sensei:_ Listen, my young pupil. The only reason you can't summon thunder is because your mind is full! Clear you mind and you will summon thunder._

Ed:_ Okay! I'll try_

[Ed clears his mind before he passes out.]

(Back at the surface.)

Drifty: Any last words?

[Electricity is summoned out of where Ed is.]

Drifty: Huh?

[The electricity goes straight from Ed to Drifty, Drifty gets electrocuted, lets go of Ed, Ed gets back up and gasps and coughs for air, Cuddles and Catchy was amazed of what Ed did.]

Cuddles: Whoa!

Catchy: Holy crap!

[Cuddles punches Catchy in the face.]

Ed: (Joyfully) Ah ha ha! Man, I guess I have chi energy now! Ha ha ha!

[Drifty gets scared from Ed's elemental potential.]

Ed: Get ready for my new attack!

[Ed points two fingers at Drifty while he focuses his attack, electricity charges from his two fingers, Drifty gets scared.]

Ed: I call this attack, (Loudly, echo) LIGHTNING TASER!

[The attack made Ed shoot lightning out of his finger tips, zapping Drifty, Drifty is temporarily paralyzed from electrical shock of Ed's attack, Ed faces where Catchy is.]

Ed: You want some too?

Catchy: (Scared) N-n-n, (Panics) I gotta get outta here!

[Catchy flees, Cuddles walks up to Ed.]

Cuddles: That... Was... Awesome! How did you do that?

Ed: I guess I've learned that from my sensei! (Laughs in joy.) Let's see if Flsky's alright.

(Back at the pyramid.)

[Ed and Cuddles walks up to Flaky which is still hiding in the bushes, peeks her head out of the bushes.]

Flaky: (Scared) I-is it over?

Ed: Yep! Come out of the bushes, Flaky.

[Flaky walks out of the bushes shy like, Cuddles grabs the rope which has the caged idol at the end.]

Cuddles: Alright, now. Let's climb that pyramid!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky walks up the stairs of the pyramid.]

(At the top of the pyramid.)

[Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky finally climb the last step, tired like.]

Ed: (Pants) Whoo! I thought we (Pants) get up here.

Cuddles: (Pants) Yeah, me nethier.

Flaky: (Gasp!) Guys, l-look!

[An ancient showcase appears, Cuddles opens the cage and puts the idol on the showcase, weird stuff is happening like high gust winds and thunder storms.]

Flaky: (Screams, Panics) WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

Voice: (Echo) Congratulations, you have returned the Cursed Idol from once it came. For that, I would grant you one wish.

Cuddles: Wow! One wish? Imagine a wish we can made!

Ed: I got it! I wish... For three wishes!

Voice: (Echo) Very well, young one! I will grant you three wishes.

[Ed laughs in joy.]

Voice: Until next time!

[The sky clears up and the winds are back to normal.]

Cuddles: Wow! Three wishes! That's better then one!

Flaky: W-w-what are you gonna wish first?

Ed: Hmm... I got it! I wish for us to warp back to Rusty's pirate ship!

[Ed, Cuddles, and Flaky teleports back to Rusty's ship, Lifty and Shifty appears walking up to the showcase.]

Lifty: Where is Drifty and Catchy?

Shifty: I don't know, but look! A statue that gives us wishes!

[Shifty attempts to grab the idol.,]

Lifty: He he he he! Wish us a million bucks!

[Shifty lifts up the idol from the showcase, results of this a piano drops on the raccoons, squishing and killing them, blood and organs comes out of their body.]

_Wow! The longest chapter yet! And so, Cuddles wished for a new skateboard and Flaky wishes back home with her mom. Drifty and Catchy was founded by the Coast Guard and was placed under arrest for the murder of Disco Bear._

Splendid: Splendont should be arrested because he's a villian!

Splendont: Yeah? Well you should be arrested for failing at saving lives!

Splendod: (Charges at Splendont, loudly) THAT'S IT!

[Spendod and Splendont fights and makes messes.]

_Not again! Well, see you folks!_

**Moral of the story: Lighting can't strike at the same place twice.**

**Next chapter, Toothy helps the Mole cross the through the wall of China.**


End file.
